Can Mama B be real with you? As a single lady, the older I get, the less things bother me.
From my teen years into my early 20s, I would think of my ideal guy and think that I found him in someone. I would dream about dates we would have, our futures, the cute selfies we would take, becoming “Facebook official,” the romantic surprises/flowers that I would post on social media in order to make my friends jealous, etc.
My reality was either he saw me as a friend/sister than a girlfriend or he liked someone else (NO!!). I would have a Taylor Swift, “Teardrops on My Guitar” moment and feel inadequate as a woman. Then, thoughts of “forever alone” and “single till the rapture” takes over and “I will never find someone”.
Fast forward to today: Recently I had feelings for someone and one of the usual scenarios occurred AND NOTHING HAPPENED!! WHAT!?!
Yup, nothing happened. I said ok and moved on. What was the difference between my teens/early 20s to now? Math.
Yes, math. Don’t stop reading!! Follow me on this.
When I was younger, I thought a relationship was the sum total of my life. Everything I am and and do depends on living up to impress a guy. If I did not find someone, it was something I did to mess up everything. I thought that if I could live up to a guy’s expectations, then I would be the perfect girlfriend. Right? WRONG!!!!
Now 2016, finding someone is an addition to who I am as a person. A guy is not the sum total of who I am. I have a path that God has designed for me. God has provided so many blessings for me. A relationship would be another addition to the blessings I already have. If a guy does not have feelings for me, then God is doing me a favor.
Life goes on. I still have my education, my family, my friends, my health, etc. God defines who I am. And God knows my heart and my desires. God (if He does) has someone designed for me: Someone that fits me and I do not have to limit or compromise who I am to please him. We will grow together, challenge one another, be equally yoked to each other, and follow Christ together. But now, I am just Bianca, and I am content with that.
To my SINGLE guys and gals, your value does not revolve around a relationship or finding someone. God values and loves you. Yes, YOU!! He sent His Son, Jesus to die for you and He ROSE after three days!! He is the Ultimate Matchmaker. Value and love yourself. The right person will come along.
This is a lesson that I have and continue to learn about love and relationships. I cannot speak for all single people but this is my take.