Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.-Proverb 3:5-6
BIG SHOCKER: Everything has not prevailed in the way I want, in the time I want, and how I want. God has managed to make my steady blueprint into a rollercoaster of life.
With every major milestone, there is my “blueprint” that God has thrown away. He changes the course. Frustrates me. Sends people my way to tell me God has a plan and that the change is better. I have a come-to-Jesus meeting. Surrender little by little to His plan. Realize that God knows better and He is the captain and I am the passenger following by faith.
I’m telling you..this is the process I go through.
Even in my frustration, I am reminded of this scripture: To not lean on the expectations of my blueprint but surrender all that I want and trust in God’s perfect blueprint of life.
For a type A personality who likes her way, this is hard to come by. With age, I am learning to let go more. I don’t need to have everything figured out. God gives me enough to live and function.
For example as a high school graduate, my “perfect life” blueprint that God was to adhere to consisted to be married with children and a career by 30. Well at 28, I am close to my career (awaiting bar results), no husband, and no children. But you know what? God knew what He was doing because I like to handle one life thing at a time. God knew I wanted to be a lawyer. He has led me down that path and the future…I have learned to let God lead.
Now that does not mean that I have taken a complete “hakuna matata” to my life. But I try to be an active participant in what God places in front of me.
A straight path is not a perfect path, but God’s purpose which is perfect and better.
To be honest, I am in an uncertain phase of life post-grad life, unemployed, and living with my parents. Yeah…really trusting the Lord for the next steps.
I want to be in Florida but don’t know where. I want to practice immigration law but don’t know how and if I will. I want a dog but don’t know if that is possible. I want to make an income but don’t know the job that will do that. A lot of wants but no blueprint. Just ideas…
The path seems very dark with little light shown but I take a deep breath and trust that God will work it out.
For now, I am looking forward to family time. Applying for work. Waiting for results. And trust and not lean on my own understanding.