Life As Bianca: Lessons of 28

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I am less than 48 hours away from my birthday. GAH!! I am feeling all kinds of excitement, sadness, anxiousness, nostalgia, and pride.

I wanted to share blissful, wise lessons I learned and continue to learn about myself. To paraphrase a great quote, it’s just fine being a masterpiece and a work of progress. And that is what I am. I am on this journey. I’m not perfect this side of heaven but I will be one day.

So let’s get started…

Serving is bigger than my personal comfort zone.

It is one of those lessons where self is not in serving. If I truly am serving for Christ, that means I have to be second. I have had to learn serving depends on your heart. I try to pray and check my heart because ultimately God called me to a particular assignment. Sometimes I do not want to serve because I don’t feel like it or it’s not the way I would do things, . But ultimately I know God would not put something in my path if He did not think I couldn’t do it. God has definitely been using my mom for “serving assignments.” It feels like my mom has an assignment cause she was talking to someone and they need help. My mom does tell the person, “I will ask my daughter.” But we all know this mommy’s girl will do it. But I truly believe God is teaching me what serving truly is and He continues to show me.

Unconventional moments are God’s preparation for something greater.

Still don’t have three letters behind my name YET. But 28 did still show me that I have knowledge to share and benefit others. I still have a Juris Doctor and my interest is in Immigration Law. I have experience to educate and help as a person with an advanced degree. With any individual I encounter with an immigration question, I try to educate them and myself by researching (but not practicing law…nothing illegal just answering questions). I am still keeping my skills up. I know I will be a licensed attorney but I also know that now is preparation for what is to come. No season is wasted even Year 28.

You have to work towards contentment if you are discontent.

Though my heart was broken that God closed a door after Bar Try #2, I really prayed and sought out why I am so discontent that where I want to be is not where God wants me to be. And God revealed that I am just going through the motions and not truly blooming where He wanted me to. So I started blogging more, started running (going on 2 months now), made a list of goals to enjoy myself this summer, and just started putting myself out there. You can’t complain and expect change. You have to go outside of yourself and really act. Like do something. If you’re bored, do something. If you’re not happy, make a change. It is a daily decision to act in contentment. Some days I did/still do not want to try because I thought “What’s the point!?!” But it was the Enemy and myself lying for me to go back to complaining and sulking in defeat. But like I said, it is a daily decision to try, to act no matter how small it is.

Sometimes you have to be still.

With conflict, with disappointment, with trouble, with difficulty, even with happiness. I have to take a step back, take a deep breath, and be still. My mom always tells me in any strife God will either change the situation or remove the situation. I have had to realize that sometimes it is not time to speak but let the situation play out. God’s got it.

Do not be ashamed of your journey.

Yup…learning that a lot. Yes, life is very different than what I expected. I wanted to be a licensed attorney living my best life in Florida. But God changed that plan and said not yet. But also He says, “I am not done with you yet. I have something for you. Wait on me.” I have had to pick my head up and say I am still worthy and I will get there. But sometimes people’s questions on my life makes me want to crawl in a hole because I belong there. It’s like I am joke and a failure to world because I am not there yet. Thankful for my family and true friends who combat my comments at how I am a failure with words of truth and encouragement. It is a struggle but I am growing and owning my story. God will and is using this narrative for someone or something down the line.

So, thanks 28 for the lessons. I will keep at it at 29 and beyond.

Blissfully,

Bianca

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