The Silver Lining to the Current Presidency

The Silver Lining to the Current Presidency

I know what you may be thinking: And what may that be, Bianca?

The silver lining is I see who people really are.

I feel like prior to this era, people’s prejudice would show it’s ugly head every now and then. I had faith in people. I thought the best in people especially Christians.

But once the current president ran, I started to see where people stood and people’s tolerances. I really started to see who people really were.

Maya Angelou says “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Usually people’s first reactions is really how they feel.

When the current president would say or do something unbecoming, the people that I thought would be outraged would make excuses or be silent.

What? I thought you were better than that.

Then, I would see how people really thought through their social media. The racist propaganda against Obama and promotion of the current president’s rhetoric. The mean-hearted comments. The videos displaying hate. The articles of angry rhetoric and division. The “us” against “them” attitude.

I’m not saying everyone should think the same. We can have disagreements but it should not turn into name-calling and empty, divisive rhetoric. 

Now, I am guarded when I encounter people. I watch people’s actions much more than the words they say.

What you talk and how you walk matters to me.

A backtrack from what you say originally speaks louder to me.

Yes, no one is perfect. But sometimes the evidence can be overwhelming.

I love and befriend from a distance. I try to take the high road towards ignorance. I post God’s Word because it cannot be disputed. I try to live as an ambassador for Christ in a lost and dying world.

I will not be perfect but I try to be who I say I am.  To live what I preach.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Watch Your Mouth!

Watch Your Mouth!

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Watch what you say and how you say it.

You can’t burn your pipe on both ends and expect respect for one side and not be criticized for the other side.

These days, there are some people who have really confused me. I don’t know which person to believe.

For Christians, the world is watching our words. Believe that. That does not mean we cannot stand on our Biblical values. The Bible says to stand firm and let nothing move us as long as God is the center of what we believe.

Just filter what you say. I don’t always post what is on my mind. I think about my audience. I think about if what I am saying is uplifting, edifying, or encouraging. Am I saying words for my own self-benefit and ego or for others? Does what I say reflect Jesus or reflect my own pride and ego?

Yes, no one is perfect. I mess up. I am preaching to myself. I have watch my mouth too. 

The best thing I can do and you can do is: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything. Think before you post. Check your sources. 

This is not Bianca’s words. Read what God says about my words and your words.

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.- Proverbs 12:18, 25

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.-Proverbs 15:1, 4

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.- Proverbs 16: 24

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.-Proverbs 18:21

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.-Ephesians 4:29

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.-Colossians 4:5-6

 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,  keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.- 1 Peter 3:15-16

So remember to watch your mouth, please.

Blissfully,

Bianca

When #blackgirlmagic gets backtracked

When #blackgirlmagic gets backtracked

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A picture is worth a thousand words. And this picture hits home all too well.

I did not watch the match but I saw the exchange of a professional female athlete and official in a video.

Then seeing this…another unfair and racist depiction of an African American female.

To be a passionate, confident black woman is hard.

We have been portrayed as ratchet, mean, hood, angry, out of line, or savage when we show the slightest bit of assertiveness in a situation of conflict.

No, I’m not going to be violent but I want to be heard.

Personally, I have had to hold my tongue too many times out of fear that I would come off as “the angry, black woman” that makes everyone uncomfortable. That’s just my experience.

Being upset or angry is a natural human emotion…but only for some.

You can only keep your cool for so long. You can only hold your emotions for so long.

Anger does not mean violence. Being assertive should not mean that you are a b@#^&. Being black and a woman does not mean I am not allowed to feel.

As an African American, we have had to endure in silence for too long.

So what if we are passionate. If a white person can be angry, passionate, and upset, why can’t black people? We have emotions too.

But the stigma has to stop.

This cartoon is offensive. Serena is a passionate, talented, assertive #blackgirlmagic who was assertive but not a baby with a tantrum. She still displayed sportsmanship to Osaka and kept it moving. But, the system needs to change. She was just bringing light to injustices in the sports world.

We, as African American women, want to be heard and we will tell it like it is. Like it or not, we are strong and resilient. We are tough but soft. We are smart and driven. We are about that hustle. So no need to call us angry or hood. We are about taking ownership of our lives and our stories. 

We are more than the angry black woman. We are so much more.

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Word From Mama B!

A Word From Mama B!

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A Word from Mama B: Don’t Let Someone’s Insecurity Stop Your Greatness.

I realize how insecure people can be. They have this cloud and attitude to bring people to their lowly, miserable level. Know that there will be people who don’t wish success for you, who wait for your demise and failure like a season finale, who find a “dig” to make you feel less, who try to find ways to silence you, who call you by your name.

Don’t be bothered by their hatred. Sometimes people are jealous that they did not live up to your now successes. They hold a bitterness which holds them back. It should not affect you.

A higher level of you will come with a level of haters. But, stand firm in who you are and whose you are. You have purpose and a spot that God put you in for a reason. 

Don’t disappoint yourself due to a person’s insecurity and small opinion.

If God approves, no man can deny. 

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Breath of Fresh Air

A Breath of Fresh Air

My Breath of Fresh Air is “Do not give up on God and His Church.”

Real talk: There were times in my life where I wanted to give up God and give up going to church.

I always felt that the Church was to be a perfect place with perfect people. The worship was perfect. The programs were a delicate balance. No talk of politics. Everyone was in perfect harmony with one another. Slowly, that perfect human expectation faded. I was getting disappointed and hurt by people in the church in various ways. This perfect church did not exist on this side of heaven.

But you know what? There are times where I forget God and look to a human expectation of church rather than look to God’s Design of His Church. God created the Church for HIMSELF and His children to grow, to learn, and to be encouraged no matter what is going on in life.  God is the head of the Church, not the pastor. God’s Word is the Truth that I should hear from the person He designed to preach. God puts the heart of worship in each person. God calls children to lead, love, care for this lost and dying world. The Church is God’s hospital for humanity. I hurt, you hurt, we all hurt but we do not have to stay that way. God makes a way for lost, hurting people in need of a Savior. God does not call us to be alone but to live in community with believers. No church is perfect but God is perfect and His Word is perfect. 

The Bible does not have the perfect physical formula for the perfect church meaning what type of music, programs vs. no programs, church attire, etc. God inspires His people in different ways. A contemporary church is no less than a traditional church. A suit and tie man is a sinner just like the jeans and t-shirt guy. Outreach and missions is a command of God.  If God is present, then it is all good. I do believe that Baptists will not be the only people in heaven. I believe His Church will be filled different with all tribes, tongues, denominations, and people. The main theme will be that we loved and walked with Jesus and we get to spend eternity with Him. That is the part of Jesus we all as believers should strive and thrive in. 

So don’t give on Jesus and His church. Jesus wants you to know His truth  and come to faith in Him. He wants you to love and be loved by His children. A local church refreshes and strengthens you. You find yourself and walk with other believers who are not perfect.  No matter where you are in life, God is there with you. Don’t give up on Him because He never gave up on us. His Church is within reach.

Let me end with Scripture:

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.  Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.  And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.-Colossians 3:15-17

The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.  For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.-Colossians 1:15-18

Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.- 1 Corinthians 12:12-14

Take care friends. Jesus loves you.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Mental Health As A Christian

Mental Health As A Christian

Mental health is real and it does not discriminate.

My Own Struggles

In my own life, I have dealt with depression and anxiety. Before, I always thought that Christians are supposed to be happy. God is in our life so everything is fine. Even when things get bad, Christians don’t fall into that pit of despair. Mental health is for crazy, unkept, people who are in strait jackets in mental institutions.

In my prior thinking, this was my thought process as a teen and young adult even though  I was depressed and did not want to admit it.

Depression is not the same XYZ formula. It comes in different ways in different forms.

I lived putting up a happy, Christian, church-face mask to the world. I was happy on the outside but depressed and crumbling on the inside. I buried my burdens and insecurities deep within and dug myself into a pit of despair. I felt worthless and alone. Even though I could dig my way out, I would go back to digging deeper and deeper in despair.

As a teen, after church, I would try to sleep the day away. Not much of an appetite. I lost weight. I would pretend everything was ok.  But I would not admit that I was depressed.

There were boiling points in my life where my depression was seen and I had to face myself. Whether I was confronted by my family, friends, or mentors, my struggles were revealed and I could not hide it. I was found out.

The “Remedy”

Pray it away…just pray about it and you will be fine.

Well I would do that but then I would still feel depressed. I was still in my pit. I was still hiding from people. I would fake it till I made it. Just pretend everything was fine…(but I wasn’t).

Like I said, I did not want to seem “crazy” cause Christians weren’t supposed to be that way. Wrong thought process…

How I Do Function

Yes, I still pray but I pray differently. I pray for relief and comfort, some reassurance from God. I still read the Bible for counsel, relief, and comfort. I still seek Godly counsel and fellowship with other believers.

I had to learn to talk about my problems. Talking it out helps. Easier said than done but still it helps. I have received counsel from my pastor. During law school, I did see a counselor to talk out my stresses and insecurities. I would try to talk it out with my family (not easy but I get brave enough to talk to them).

List positive affirmations to myself. When I post scripture or encouragements on social media or when I blog, it’s therapy for me. I remind myself:  Bianca, you are not perfect and you don’t need to be. You are not a disappointment. There are good things in your life. Count the blessings you have. I know they exist in your life. Don’t forget that.

Sometimes I have had to remove myself from situations or people because that can cause stress. In my sophomore year of college, I had a major meltdown because I was overly stressed, depressed, and just failing. As a result, I took a semester off, went to a junior college, and lived at home until my junior year. I had to take a step back and clear my mind. I was not in a healthy place spiritually, emotionally, or academically.

Some sort of medical help may be necessary. I had a chemical imbalance so I needed to take something to balance me. Nothing to be ashamed of. I function like a human.

An outlet can be therapy. I started painting to help me. It is a wonderful escape to be active and make something beautiful in the process.

I am in no way saying this is easy. I do not have it figured out. I have to fight to love myself and value myself enough to face each day. I know I have tools and resources to keep going but sometimes I am not fine.

It’s ok to seek help. It’s ok to feel bad. But try to find an outlet. You are not alone in this world. Know that it’s ok to seek help…even Christians too.

I believe Jesus knows that we hurt and He hurts for us. I believe Jesus has gifted individuals with the ability to counsel and encourage in life situations. Jesus is the ultimate Counselor but He calls people to be His hands and feet. God created medicine for a reason and some people need it. God made resources for a reason.

Biblical Outlet

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.-1 Corinthians 10:13

There is a way to endure with Jesus. There have been dark moments where all I had was myself and I could have hurt myself, but there was a still small voice telling me to hold on. When I could not sleep, I felt someone wrap their arms around me. When in my despair,  I felt angels surrounding me. Something was in the room but I did not know what. Nothing scary but I know it’s God.

Sometimes I function and survive because I am holding on the hem of Jesus’s garment. Even if it is a thread, I know I can never go wrong with turning to Jesus.

My Go-To Psalm is Psalm 121:

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.

Hold on to Jesus. He won’t let you go. Even in the darkness moments, He is there. You may not feel like He is but He is. Even if you don’t love Jesus or believe in Jesus, He is still watching over you. He still wants you.

To Close

There is no perfect solution. There is nothing to be ashamed of. We are all human. As Christians, we are still human. We all fall short. God is the Ultimate Counselor and Sustainer. And God created ways to be at peace.  I still struggle my insecurities but fight each day the best I can. It’s ok to not be ok. Remember this:

You are not alone.

Hold on.

You will make it.

I believe and have faith in you. 

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Gentle Reminder

A Gentle Reminder

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”-John 16:33

Can we all agree life is hard? Whether it be the world news, relationship issues,  issues at work, your health, job searches and pending bar results (me), and everything in between. It just stinks.

But you know what?

God has overcome it so you will overcome it.

It is not a quick genie presto. It is in God’s timing. Know that God may be blocking, clearing, or preventing something bad from happening. Maybe you did not get something because there is something better in store.

I know what you are thinking: Bianca, I have been rejected too many times!?!

Well I am right there with you. Life is hard.

Jesus did not promise an easy life. I do not have an easy life. Sometimes I do want to give up and throw in the towel. But I don’t because something better is in store for me. So I will say that to you: Something better is in store.

He overcame the trouble on the Cross. Your “life issues” are HANDLED!

Be encouraged.

It’s handled in Jesus name!!!

Blissfully,

Bianca