A Word from Mama B: Don’t Let Someone’s Insecurity Stop Your Greatness.
I realize how insecure people can be. They have this cloud and attitude to bring people to their lowly, miserable level. Know that there will be people who don’t wish success for you, who wait for your demise and failure like a season finale, who find a “dig” to make you feel less, who try to find ways to silence you, who call you by your name.
Don’t be bothered by their hatred. Sometimes people are jealous that they did not live up to your now successes. They hold a bitterness which holds them back. It should not affect you.
A higher level of you will come with a level of haters. But, stand firm in who you are and whose you are. You have purpose and a spot that God put you in for a reason.
Don’t disappoint yourself due to a person’s insecurity and small opinion.
If God approves, no man can deny.
One of the greatest standards of Womanhood is the Proverbs 31 Woman. It’s like every guy wants her and every girl wants to be her. It’s like the HOLY GRAIL to Womanhood.
I would wreck myself trying to be “the perfect woman.” The perfect woman for marriage and life in general. REAL TALK: It does not exist. I am not perfect.
Well ladies, I want to give you all a restart. A fresh take on the Proverbs 31 Woman every Thursday in March. God made you and me uniquely with a certain set of skills and qualifications. We should not be boxed into societal expectation. Grow according to the Father. God gives us guidance to mold and fashion us into the women we want to be. So the Proverbs 31 Woman is a guide for women: to hustle, to give, to love, to fashion herself.
So join this ride with me as we take a Modern Look at the Proverbs 31 Woman. It starts next Thursday!
It is important when you are single to be the person you want to be.
Never stop evolving.
Don’t dim that light.
Take on new experiences.
Your life is not incomplete because it’s just you.
It is the beginning of something greater.
Wear your banner with pride.
The respect you want is the respect you allow.
My mom instilled in me that it is imperative that you love yourself first. No one can love you more than God and you. Know that you deserve love and respect BUT you decide how you receive it. When you know your value, you determine your outcome. You can be encrusted with good, solid people or bad people…it’s up to you.
If you allow disrespect, then you are the recipient of disrespect. If you allow respect, then you are the recipient of respect.
Stop disrespect at the start.
Remove yourself from the situation.
Silence can speak louder than words.
In my life, by stopping disrespect to establish “Don’t cross me,” people back off or know I can’t mess with Bianca. You don’t need to waste your breath and energy on disrespect so silence and leaving the toxic situation is best.
So remember you are worth it.
While single, “let your resume be just as good as the person you tries to make moves on you.”
This is not a competition or a way to look down upon people.” It’s just that as a single person you need to make your own moves in the world. A relationship is an addition to your life, not the sum total.
For instance, I was out of town with my mom and sister. I was sitting in the hotel lobby studying. A guy who walked in started flirting with me. He told me “I’m a “soon to be pro-athlete.” I guess he thought I should be impressed and more eager to talk to him. And some ladies would probably gravitate towards him but not this girl. I happily responded with “That’s nice. I graduated law school and am studying for the Bar.” He seemed puzzled yet impressed. Like “Oh this girl got it going on”. And yes, yes I am.
You see. A football pro did not deter me. I have my own life with my own dreams. My resume was just as good if not better. When you are confident in your greatness, no one phases you. Whether he’s a doctor, teacher, engineer, musician, etc., you’re still good in your own skin.
P.S. He lied. He was a loiter trying to look like he belonged. What a fool I would have been to fall for it.
I have always been told, “Bianca, you are so positive.” or “Bianca, you have a good word.”
You want to know a secret. I am usually not that positive all day every day. There was a time where I would air out my frustrations on social media and to everyone. By doing that, I was adding power to the negativity.
When Jesus was wandering in desert for 40 days, the Enemy would tempt and capitalize on the problems. But Jesus combat the temptation with words of truth and the Enemy fled. (Matthew 4:1-11) Why can’t I do that?
There are days where the Enemy was working really hard to mess me up. I am my worse critic and am really hard on myself. My parents raised me to have an attitude of Christ and to fight the negativity with truth. So, the temptation and lies of the Enemy are still there. I don’t want to show defeat because I am a conquerer in Jesus’ name. I decided to have a proclivity of God’s truth over my life. You know what truth you and I should declare:
Jesus loved/ still loves us while we were yet sinners. (Roman 5:8)
We are fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. (Psalm 139:14)
Jesus wants us to come to repentance (2 Peter 3:8-10)
Jesus forgives and does not remember our sin as far as the east is from the west. (Psalm 103:11-13)
Jesus has a purpose and a hope for all of His children. (Jeremiah 29:11)
These truths and many others shape and define me. They help when days are tough and good. These are truths I want to share on Blissfully Bianca, my social media, and when I am out in the world. My positive words are not not mine to praise but to the One who is worthy of Praise! Speak God’s truth. It does not change and it does not fail you. So the joy of the Lord is my daily strength, my daily attitude, and writing inspiration.
Can Mama B be real with you?
There was once a time where peoples’ opinions mattered to me. I wrote a plural possessive because it was true. I allowed people to rule my life. My well-being was a cacophony of opinions that did not matter in the end. I was afraid of being hated by people but at what cost to my own sanity? I was lost because I did not use my voice.
REAL TALK: There will be people in your life, in your circle who wish for your demise. There are people who are toxic and only bring negativity.
My advice: Make sure to hear YOUR voice. Eliminate the leeches that suck the life out of you. Shake the dust off your feet. Seek advice from the people who give your tough love and have character that you gravitate towards.
I will admit: Your friend list may be smaller but that is not a bad thing. Have a quality of friends than a cacophony quantity of instability. Also, make sure to hear your own voice too