Empowered to Say No

Empowered to Say No

For most of my life, I have been a BIG people pleaser. I just always wanted to make people happy at the expense of my energy and time. I would find myself drained and empty because I wanted people to love me. Bianca can do anything.

I thought for most of my life if I said yes to people, events, and opportunities, then I would be blessed ten-fold by others.

NOT!!!

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I realized in my late 20’s that there were “friends” and “people” who I would climb mountains for when they would not go a step for me. I performed for people who could care less about me. I would give 110% when they gave -100%.

I would feel so bad inside. I would be burnt out. I would feel terrible. I would outpour everything without any inflow.

Well. Not. Anymore.

I say no or no thank you. And it feels good. Sometimes I need to take a step back. Sometimes I need to think and clear my mind. Sometimes I need to worry about myself. I need to be selfish.

Yes, it hurts but self-care is good care.

I’m not saying to say NO to everything. I’m not saying you expect everyone to give you what you give them. I’m saying be empowered by the time and moments where you have peace, silence, and self-care for yourself. 

I had to realize that I matter. There will be opportunities to grasp, events to attend, and ways to serve others.

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I know what you are thinking…but Bianca, that was my only chance.

NOPE, I don’t accept it.

You can be selfish to keep your sanity. But Bianca, what should I do? I’m glad you asked.

You can:

have a day to yourself,

get a mani/pedi,

read a book,

turn off your phone, social media and email,

turn off the tv,

take a nap, 

go outside

Be empowered in caring for your A1 since day 1, YOU!

Blissfully,

Bianca

Wisdom from the Wise

Wisdom from the Wise

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.-Proverbs 1:8-9

Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding. I give you sound learning, so do not forsake my teaching. For I too was a son to my father, still tender, and cherished by my mother.-Proverbs 4:1-3

Remember that time in your life when you wanted to live your own life. When you thought your parents and older people were out to ruin your life and cramp your style. You think you know the world…

For me, I grew up with Haitian, Bible-believing Christian parents. To give you insight to my life,

  •  I was not allowed to go to sleepovers,
  • I was chaperoned everywhere with my friends (i.e. movies, malls, hangouts),
  •  Back to school shopping: reliable supplies took precedence over fashionable supplies.
  • At least a 20 question deposition before I could ever go anywhere
  • Summers were spent getting ready for the new school year
  • I could not share clothes with other people
  • And the list goes on…

I was not cool at all growing up. If anything, I was the plain jane girl who just went to school and church. I craved to be cool but my parents were not the ones to be messed with. They were a team. They were active in my upbringing. There was a standard to keep: go to school, go to church, serve the Lord, and be a good citizen.

I hated how strict they were.

Fast forward to today, my adult life is quite different. Yes, I am living at home. Yes, the rules still apply BUT…I value them so much. The parent-child dynamic is different. I seek their advice and they give me guidance.

I started realizing from college till now, my parents were right to be strict. I am not the person I am today without the structure, spiritual maturity, intelligence, and discipline of my parents.

My parents were both raised by single parents and had to make a way all by themselves. They had little support.  They did not have all the guidance I had or someone checking on them. So as new parents, they gave my siblings and me the upbringing they never had.

My parents really guarded me but also educated me about life. They did not want to make my life miserable; they wanted to prepare me and teach me for life ahead.

My parents were not rich monetarily, had privilege in their community, or had elite status. But they invested values that I did not depart from. 

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Whether it’s a parent, mentor, or parent-like figure, their wisdom is valuable. They lived longer than you or me. Yes, if they love you enough to give you tough love and Godly wisdom, listen. Take their advice to heart.

To have what I have is a testament to God’s grace in giving me God-driven parents. No, they are not perfect people but that’s ok. I am not a perfect child but they still love me.

So I do ask for advice for approval and support. I do believe they like the fact that I come to them for advice. But I know my parents truly have my best interest at heart. They KNOW me almost too well. I am an adult but I am thankful for them. No matter much I grow up, the instruction of my parents does matter to me.

So value the people in your life who pour life into you. 

If you are blessed enough to have your parents on this side of heaven, value them. If not, remember their instruction and the memories.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Starting Something New

Starting Something New

So with us halfway through January,  it is no shock that probably you and I have fallen off our goals/resolution train. The motivation turns into struggle and ultimately giving up and waiting till next year. I have had moments where sitting inside felt better than running in the cold. I have not worn my fitness tracker every day. Some days I am so unmotivated that I sleep and watch TV. I don”t practice my brush lettering every day. So yeah..I am not perfection in 2018.

BUT every day is a new day.Rome was not built in a day. But I bet each day, the builders had a mindset of “let’s keep building.” Whether they built a story or five story in one day, they still built. Don’t give up on your goals. If you want something, you need to have the mindset of “I am going to try.” Have a new attitude and new mindset. Mastery comes from consistent tries.So try and try again.

Shock

Blissfully,

Bianca

Fight for Your Life!

Fight for Your Life!

Fight through the sludge of adversity.

Yes, bad things happen to good people.

Yes, you will get discouraged, overwhelmed, and disappointed.

But that does not mean you stay there.

You fight the good fight.

Keep moving forward.

Keep persevering.

You will get there.

Just don’t give up.

Sludge

Blissfully,

Bianca

The Skies Are Changing

The Skies Are Changing

On the horizon of a new beginning, the atmospheric skies are changing .

The blueprint you anticipated has flipped.

What you desired is not what is in store.

The strategy has changed but the goal is unchanged.

It may seem like failure but as you look up, the sun shines brightly.

The skies are changing but God is still saying “I am still rooting for you.”

You look down to earth, look inside yourself, and move forward.

Heaven is working on your behalf.

Atmospheric

Blissfully,

Bianca

Living Life

Living Life

Have you ever had moments where you are just mentally and physically worn out? Like you are just tired and numb to everything? You go through the motions but you are still numb?

And suddenly there is a HONK! A loud sound to shake your entire being.

You wake up! Your body surges with life and action. You are motivated!

A honk can be the wake-up call you need to keep going and keep fighting.

So friends, keep going and keep fighting.

Honk

Blissfully,

Bianca

Affirm and Believe

Affirm and Believe

It is easy to say what is going wrong and get worried.  It is easy to to say “I wish this and that.” It is easy to see and envy another’s “wonderful life.” I say this because my mind swirls just like this. So I have to tell myself, STOP. You are only destroying your progress and growth. Don’t grow faint and lost in what you don’t have. You  know what you and I need to do? You and I need to be thankful for the good. There is potential in and around us.

Affirm what you believe is true.

Yes, affirm how far you have come. Affirm the good in your life. Affirm your progress. Affirm that fact that you are alive and breathing on your own. The key term is AFFIRM.

Faint

Blissfully,

Bianca