Back to Basics: Love Yourself

Back to Basics: Love Yourself

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It’s a simple concept but it is important. You can’t take care of anyone if you can’t take care yourself. You can pour your heart out and give your time, energy, and spirit to work, activities, clubs/organizations, school, church, friends, and family. But who is left empty? You.

I know from experience. I know what it is like spreading yourself thin. I am naturally a people pleaser; I want everyone to be happy. But I overexerted myself. I was depressed and drained putting on a smile for the world and dying on the inside. I would stress myself out to the point where I could not sleep and my overall health was unstable.

I had to take my life back. This is an ongoing issue I struggle with so I am preaching to myself as well as you.

Keep these tips in mind for your self-care:

  1. Learn to say no. Not everything thrown in front of you is a high priority. Yes, there are things that you need to take care immediately. But, know that your self-care is a high priority as well.
  2. Organize your priorities. Whether it is a daily to-do list, a calendar, an app, organize your life. I personally have my calendar app and calendar to get dates and events together. It is important to take time to sit down and write/type stuff out. I forget this but with my schedule being busier, I need to prioritize so I don’t overbook.
  3. Set time for yourself. Whether it is a 30 minute block or a whole day, you need time to recharge. Fill yourself up. You don’t have to go out. You can rest and not look at your phone, read, or just do something relaxing. I have to set “me time” for my own sanity. It’s really nice when you take a moment to breathe. Things I do: I paint (whether it’s a paint class or my own home paint night), I read, I run, I sleep. You need to unwind in some way so make that time.
  4. Don’t feel rushed to make a decision. You know those people who say “I need a decision NOW!” I say, They can wait. No person should ever pressure you to make rash decisions or commit to something so quickly. I am excluding emergency situations but you know where I am getting at?
  5. Be a little selfish. Like I said, you need to make yourself a priority every once and a while. There is nothing wrong with “me time.” The people who need you will still be there after your break.

Remember your body works when you work towards your own well-being. You have to be honest with yourself. Do you take time for yourself? Like I said, it does not need to be a whole day, just a few minutes. Love yourself, take care of yourself. Your body will thank you.



My Declaration of “Me Time”

My Declaration of “Me Time”

I love my space. I have learned to do things on my own. I thought that I had to be around people to be filled. But it actually is the opposite. For many years, I would give myself to the world until no end then just be drained and depressed afterwards. I was more dependent on people than myself. I always thought that being alone meant that I was introverted and a hermit. I just did not want to be alone because I would be with myself and it scared me.

But that was then…

It was when I moved to Florida for law school where my perception changed. I was on my own. I was definitely fearful to explore. Finding a church by myself, shopping by myself, exploring Jacksonville, etc. But it is the uncomfortable moments where we really have to challenge ourselves to grow. So, I took a leap of faith and tried to do activities alone. AND I LOVED IT!

I lived by myself for two years in Jax. I would go painting on my own. I visited churches and eventually found a church home. I would eat out on my own. The list goes on…

I just tried. Yes, it felt uncomfortable at first but once you get out of your head, you settle down. It gets better.

I know alone time can be different for everyone. We all have lives and busyness to do deal with. We all have responsibilities and obligations. BUT it is important to refresh and refill.

My Declaration for Me Time: Everyone deserves a moment, whether its five minutes or a few hours, to be alone to refresh and not think too hard.

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I have fallen victim to the burn out. I pour myself out only to be empty. So find that time. Ways I Unwind: Paint (of course), Window shopping, Nap, Take a walk/run, Reading, Just sit down in my room, etc.

Just something to yourself. Now only you can determine what works for you BUT do it. For sanity, for the people around you, and for your mind, body, and soul.

Have your own “me time”.



Blissful Summer Survival List

Blissful Summer Survival List

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Summer is HERE! Time to put away sweaters and sweatshirts. Time to revive shorts, bathing suits, tank tops, dresses, rompers, and everything awesome. But you need a survival kit to thrive and still have your skin intact.

My list is actually what I use. It would not be blissful if I did not use it. So, heed my list and apply it to your summer schedule.

Aloe Vera Gel– I burn up internally in the heat. It takes hours for me to cool down. It’s almost like I want a bucket of ice to fall on me all the time. Aloe is a cooling anti-inflammatory plant that moisturizes the skin without being greasy. I used it on my last family vacation and it really did the job. It also helps with sunburn relief. It also provides Vitamin C and E which you and I need to survive the sun’s rays.

Hair Tie/Hat– It’s vital for ladies ( and men with hair) to have it. It gets hot. If you have hair, the heat can make you sweat. A hair tie is your lifeline. Also, if you have hair that cannot fit in a hat, a hair tie is an alternative tool to keep cool. A hat is great too and can be a fashion statement.

Sunglasses– Protect your eyes. I have prescription sunglasses. You don’t want to go blind. The sun can hurt your eyes and may cause you to have headaches. Plus, you can make it a fashion statement to go with your outfit.

Water– Stay hydrated. The worst thing is to be dehydrated. I keep a bottled water handy. Don’t wait till you’re on the brink of dryness. Take sips and drink more than one (speaking to myself).

Sunscreen– Believe it or not. People with more melanin need sunscreen too. I need higher SPF for my skin. So protect your skin at all costs.



Blissful Lessons from Mom

Blissful Lessons from Mom

In honor of Mother’s Day Weekend, I wanted to share my mom’s wise words to me. I am not the person I am today without her strength, love, and guidance. Though she has taught me a lot of things, I wanted to narrow down the list because it would be an encyclopedia with 10 volumes. But I hope you are encouraged by her words in your own life.

  1. Trust God and Yourself
  2. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
  3. You are NOT in anyone’s spot. God has you wherever you are for a reason.
  4. You are worthy because God says you are.
  5. Do not be ashamed of who you are.
  6. Be patient with yourself
  7. It’s ok if you don’t get it right the first time. You’re human.
  8. Never envy anyone else’s life because you don’t know what they had to do to get what they have.
  9. Enjoy your single life.
  10. God will order your steps. You are alright.



The Storm’s Blissful Lesson

The Storm’s Blissful Lesson

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You know those rainstorms that are wind, rain, thunder, lightning and everything in between.  You can’t see where you are. Speeding up can lead to uncontrollable hydroplaning. Even familiar routes are difficult to travel to.

Doesn’t that sound like life?

The storms of life can throw us for a loop. A friend once said people are either in a storm, about to enter a storm, or have left a storm.  We all have a storm.

It is easy to succumb to the storm and fall into despair. I have had my fair shares of storms. It feels unbearable.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all. He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken.-Psalm 34:17-20

Though it is easy to throw in the towel, DON’T!

Though it storms, the rain will stop, the clouds will appear, the loud clashing of lightning and thunder will be silenced, and then sunlight.

For every rainstorm, there is sunshine.

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With any storm, God can overcome it. Jesus silenced the winds and the storms at His command (Matthew 8:23-27). Nothing is too hard for God.

What you and I cannot do is control our situations. Sometimes life is out of our reach. Things happen that are unexpected, from left field,  unplanned, and abrupt. And sometimes with as much preparation you do, you still fall short. But God can and is in control. 

With the storm, there is provision, safety, and sanity that God provides. He does not lead you where He will not provide for you. He knows what you can handle even though you think you can’t handle it.

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus.-Philippians 4:19

God will bring you out of the storm into the sunshine. I can’t assure that life will be exactly what you expected but all storms will strengthen you and your testimony.

So hold on even though it’s raining, God will give you the umbrella (i.e. provision) and the direction.

I leave with this: But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.-2 Corinthians 12:9

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Wherever you fall short, God will fill in the gaps.

The storm is temporary.

It will pass.

God will bring you out of whatever tried to end you or break you. 

The sunshine will come. 




Watch Your Mouth!

Watch Your Mouth!

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Watch what you say and how you say it.

You can’t burn your pipe on both ends and expect respect for one side and not be criticized for the other side.

These days, there are some people who have really confused me. I don’t know which person to believe.

For Christians, the world is watching our words. Believe that. That does not mean we cannot stand on our Biblical values. The Bible says to stand firm and let nothing move us as long as God is the center of what we believe.

Just filter what you say. I don’t always post what is on my mind. I think about my audience. I think about if what I am saying is uplifting, edifying, or encouraging. Am I saying words for my own self-benefit and ego or for others? Does what I say reflect Jesus or reflect my own pride and ego?

Yes, no one is perfect. I mess up. I am preaching to myself. I have watch my mouth too. 

The best thing I can do and you can do is: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything. Think before you post. Check your sources. 

This is not Bianca’s words. Read what God says about my words and your words.

The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.- Proverbs 12:18, 25

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.-Proverbs 15:1, 4

Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.- Proverbs 16: 24

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.-Proverbs 18:21

 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.-Ephesians 4:29

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.-Colossians 4:5-6

 But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,  keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.- 1 Peter 3:15-16

So remember to watch your mouth, please.



Saying Goodbye and Hello

Saying Goodbye and Hello

When we finally reach midnight into 2018, remember a few things going forward:

1. Appreciate the lessons of 2017. God does not make us go through things without a lesson.

2. If you do a resolution, make realistic goals to challenge and make you better. Don’t just say lose weight or be healthy. Say you will take walks three times a week. Practical and easier to stick to.

3. Find a word, motto, or verse going into 2018. Mine is Be On It. With different areas of my life, I want to take control (with God’s help), take intentional steps, and go at it.

4. Appreciate what you have while working for what you want (awesome quote). May you enjoy the good blessings and make intentional steps for your goals.

5. Be easy on yourself. You are only person and there are 24 hours in a day. Intentional steps will not lead to perfection but progress.

Have a Happy New Year Everyone! May you be blessed and prosperous!!!