via Daily Prompt: Lush
I feel that as I grow older, my lush garden of life is growing. I know that there are greener pastures ahead but I bask in my growing garden now.
The things that use to deter me and annoy me don’t. I have had and still have to sift out the dead weeds that choke my joy.
I have had flowers that I expected to bloom and did. I have had flowers that did not bloom. I have had flowers that I did not expect to bloom.
My lush garden of life is blooming. God continues to plant the seeds that bloom into my testimony.
via Photo Challenge: Shadow
And one day she discovered, she discovered she was fierce, strong, and full of fire, and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.-Mark Anthony.
It is amazing to me because this girl was only dreaming that she could be an Immigration Lawyer years ago. Now, she is 305 days away from graduating law school. Her shadow shows the mountains and valleys. Her shadow shows the people who have gone before her. Her shadow shows the way she is standing tall. She is standing tall because she sees her dreams become a reality.
This unique title stems from a tradition of loving me initiative. I decided that I wanted to treat myself and show my growth with the jewelry I buy (i.e. rings). Why wait for the primetime engagement ring when I can buy my own ring? It’s not an engagement ring I buy each year (that would be weird). The rings I have bought the past three years have symbolized a season of life.
In Fall 2014, I purchased my first ring, my cross ring in honor of 2015. I got my first job out of college for a non-profit organization. It was a seasonal job, but it would help me save money for law school. And I wanted to buy myself something special. Since God brought me this far, I knew He would bring me farther to my dream.
For my 2016 ring, my flower ring symbolized my favorite quote, “Bloom where you are planted.” It was my second year of law school. It was still a transition moving to a new city where I did not know anyone and going to law school was a lot. In spite of the struggles, I wanted to continue to grow into the beautiful person God has called me to be.
For my 2017 ring, my “Believe” ring is a symbol to believe in God and myself. My mom always tells me that and it is true. I am in my final year of law school and I need to believe in myself. I am worthy of the great things God has in store for me. I need to keep believing.
You do not need to follow my lead. This is my personal journey. What I do want you to know is to love the skin you are in and treat yourself.
Can I be real with ya’ll?
I have only been on 3 dates in my 26 years of life (Yes..it is true). Both of them were blind dates (I know…crazy). And you know what I felt so awkward. I never met them prior to the date. Mutual friends thought that we would be a great pair for whatever reason I do not know. And it was awkward….
It’s weird because I am a quirky, fun girl. But dates are not my forte. My no filter personality shows up and I become deathly quiet when I mess up (that is a strange thing). If I say something, it was something I should not have said.
On blind date #1, when he escorted me back to my dorm building, I whispered under my breath loudly “Have a great semester. Oh I shouldn’t have said that.” Of course, I thought he didn’t hear me but he responded saying “It’s ok. I guess.”
On blind date #2, we went to an art museum which was a hard date because I wanted to read everything and take in the exhibits. Too many long pauses. I tried to start and restart conversations. Our date felt more like a deposition than a date.
I kept beating myself up because I felt I would never find someone. My awkward dating skills will make me single and forever alone (dramatic, I know). But over time, I just had to learn that I am the way I am. My quirks are weird but that’s ok. My sister tends to tell me the guy I do date will find my interesting personality endearing and cute. But for now, I am just an awkward dater.
It has been an interesting time in my life. For 26 years, there has been a part of me that I chose not reveal to people. I have just kept it to myself because I felt like I would be judged and criticized. A little bit about me, one thing I have struggled with is being liked. I always wanted to be liked by everyone even if it meant concealing parts of myself.
The older I get, the more I start living more for me. The older I get, the more I care less about what other people think about me. The older I get, the less I tolerate the toxic things and people who bring me down. The older I get, the more I want respect for who I chose to be.
Recently, I said on social media that I am a Democrat who loves Jesus and His Word. WOW!! That happened. At first, I felt like I was letting people down and fooling my friends into thinking that I was something that I never was to begin with. But then, I felt a release of 26 years of hiding my political party. My political party is not the sum total of who I am but part of who I am. I should not be afraid but be brave even if that means some will not like what I say or shun me for my beliefs.
My mom has always told me that I am brave for moving to a new city, trying new things, living on my own, and the list goes on. I never understood why she said that. I merely did what I had to do. But as usual, my mom is right and I am wrong. I was being brave by trying and stepping outside of what I am use to.
“Small steps of faith can turn into big breakthroughs of bravery.” So be brave, friends. No one is living your life unless you let them. Take little steps of bravery.
It is still a process but I am more open to speak my mind, speak God’s truth, and continue to spread positivity and love (cause the world needs that). But that is my life as “brave” Bianca.
via Daily Prompt: Year
We have reached another year: 2017!!!
A habit I have is I tend to take care of everyone else and forget about myself. I need to be better about that. So this segment, I will talk more about myself and my journey. So I decided to make a new segment: Life as Bianca.
My goals for this year (I refuse to say resolutions):
- Graduate law school.
- Cook more.
- Save money and manage my money effectively.
- Learn how do a cat eye (Always wanted to learn).
- Paint and color more.
- Be a better blogger and reach more people.
- Do effective bar prep (Taking it February 2018).
- Spend more time getting into the Word and strengthen my faith more.
- Give out handwritten cards to people just because.
- Declutter the excess in my life.
- Continue to eliminate negativity whether by people or things.
- Run again.
- Do more community service/pro-bono work.
- Be more organized and stick to a schedule.
- Speak more Creole.
- Make career choices towards my future (finding a job).
- Spend less time on technology (easier said than done)
I know…it’s quite a list. Each year that passes, I want to keep growing and keep striving for excellence. I hope you all will join me on this journey. Make a list and stick to it. Tell me what you want to accomplish in 2017.