My Lenses On the LGBTQ Community

My Lenses On the LGBTQ Community

I am writing as a Bible-believing Christ follower. This is my honest opinion towards the subject. I hope you read this in its entirety.  I will not please the world with what I say but it’s my truth in the matter.

All the names are fake names. Only I know the real person’s name in each description.

Early Memories

Jack– I was a 7th grader and he was an 8th grader. He was the sweetest, kindest guy in my middle school chorus program. All the girls loved him. I secretly wanted him to be my boyfriend. I even told my friend that I want him to be my boyfriend. She told me how I was not his type.

I asked, “What do you mean?” She said how “Jack likes boys.” “What? Boys can like boys?” I responded. My friend responded, “Yes, they can.”  That was my first experience with the gay person.

Alice– She was a high school freshman like me. She was a punk, emo girl who barely came to class. If she did, she looked high or strung out. She had a girlfriend one moment, then within a few weeks she was with a boy.

My thought process was “so you can like both? How can you love both?” I then learned what a bisexual was.

Spiritual Background

I grew up in a Christian home. I did not know these terms or types of people until middle school and beyond. I believed in Jesus. In church, I was taught that God created love and marriage between a man and a woman. In my faith, I was taught to hate sin. So in my legalistic mind, I thought I was to hate the bad sinners. I thought I had to stay away from before they affect me too.

But in the other part of my mind, the gay people I encountered were so nice. I was conflicted as a young Christian. Yes, I was to hate sin but how do I love these people. I grappled with this dilemma for a long time.

The Crossroads Moment

It wasn’t until my junior year of college when I met my roommate, Tanya, My side of the room had scripture on the wall and when she came to the room, I guess she realized she needed to tell me she was a lesbian. When she told me, she told me “listen, I see you are a Christian and I am gay so I will understand if you don’t want to my roommate.”

Wow, that hurt.

It’s like she already knew the “Christian script:”  You’re going to hell if you don’t change.

It struck me…I’m not like that. I would not bluntly tell someone that. How would someone accept Christ if a Christian said that?

Could I have changed roommates? Yes.

Did I? No.

She really did challenge me. She was a cool person. We had meaningful conversation about our faiths, her story, and my story.

She did grow up as a Christian but she thought she was gay. There is still family that she has not told. There was a deep traumatic event that altered her perception of men.  I shared Jesus with her. She took it at face value. And we lived together for a semester.

Going Forward

After my junior year, my perception started to change. Life brought more and more people from all spectrum. I took time to listen to them, not every story is the same. People from my past started coming out…some were a shock, some were not.

I stopped thinking I should not disassociate and rebuke them. Most people already knew “what Christians would say.”

But I started realizing that I am a sinner just like them and yet Jesus died for all our sins. We all have temptations and sins that are hard to overcome. It is a personal choice on whether to give in to those temptations. 

In my second year of law school, the church I was attending had a guest speaker, Sy Rogers, a preacher who left the LGBTQ community who gave his life to Christ. He even said that even now, he struggles with that sin but still holds on to Christ. He has a wife and children. While God renewed him, he expressed how celibacy while wrestling with same sex attraction is also a victory. I know not know the struggle personally but I do understand people who are trying to follow Christ and his teachings. By no means, do I discount the struggle but I know God will help facilitate and give a person a way out.

God can heal and restore a person’s heart to love the way God intended it to be. But it is an individual choice. A Christian cannot make that choice for them. Only God can change an individual’s heart.

My Convictions

This is not an easy solution. I am still working this part out with every person I meet.

To me, I believe the Bible in its entirety: Old Testament and New Testament. God’s Word does not change with time, it stands with time. Homosexuality is a sin. Marriage is between a man and a woman. God designed and displays marriage between a man and a woman. That will not change.

I base my belief on these verses: Romans 1:26-28, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Mark 10:6-9, 1 Corinthians 7:2, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Leviticus 20:13

I am sinner. There are sins in my life that I fight to overcome. Sin is sin. Yes, we all sin differently and no sin is bigger than another. But sin still separates us from God. 

No, I don’t believe America is going to hell or any tragedy occurred because of gay people (all are sinners remember…).

No, the LGBTQ  do not deserve to be hate crime victims. Like I said as Christians, we are not judge, jury, or punisher. We are called to love as Christ loves where people are. The Pulse Nightclub Shooting broke my heart and my heart still hurts for the lives lost and their friends and family. I prayed that for the community to people to be comforted by the Savior and to find peace that only He can give. The suicide rate for this community hurts my heart. No one should feel less of a human being to point where they do not value their lives. I don’t wish the pain and prejudice on any one of these people. The LGBTQ community are valued in God’s eyes. He still died for them too. 

No, I don’t believe the LGBTQ community should be denied healthcare, legal representation, or any necessities. I would gladly feed, clothe, counsel, hug, and love them even if we have different views. Love your neighbor as yourself.

I will never say to someone “You are going to hell.” Last time I checked we are all destined for hell. We are all sinners. Jesus saved us all.  I am not called to be judge and jury of anyone but I am called to be a light and share the love and truth of Jesus Christ.

But I Chose Love

 Just because I have those convictions does not mean I don’t talk to my friends in the community. I have friends and people in life who are in the LGBTQ community. One of my favorite teachers. Medical professionals who have treated my sister. A law school colleagues. Many other beautiful people I encounter.  They are wonderful, kind people. I don’t disregard them or curse them for their choice. But if they ask me what I believe, I would tell them in a loving way that I am a Bible-believing Christian and I don’t believe in homosexuality but I will love them where they are in life.

I will love them they way Christ loves them. I have my convictions and beliefs but I love them. God calls us to love our neighbor as ourselves. God created them too. God died for them too. I will not hate them for the choices they have made. I will love them where they are and let God will do the rest.

Next Steps

Like I said, there is not an easy solution but I am willing to learn and grow more. So I have challenged myself with reading more about Christianity and Homosexuality. A great friends of mine suggested: Is God Anti-Gay? by Sam Alberry, Same-Sex Attraction and the Church by Ed Shaw, Space at the Table by Brad and Drew Harper , The Secret Thoughts of an Unlikely Convert and The Gospel Comes With a House Key-by Rosaria Butterfield. I continue to pray and seek guidance on this topic. Finally, what I want to show the LGBTQ community and everyone is the Father’s love, to love as He loved and still loves His people.

 

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

 

My Lenses on Racism

My Lenses on Racism

How I Appear

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”-1 Samuel 16:7

When I am discriminated, marginalized, overlooked, and prejudiced for the way I look, I try to remember that my heart is not black with hate, but red and full because of Jesus.

Yes, I know it is 2018. We had a black President. Quit race-baiting, Why can’t you get over yourself in thinking everybody’s a racist…I hear these comments all the time.

I wish I could live my life freely without thinking about my race. But I can’t fool myself. My parents told me as kind as I am, some people won’t want to see my character but just see my skin color.

Yes, I have been followed in a store for no reason.

Yes, I have been called the n-word.

Yes, I have been discriminated everywhere…including church.

Yes, I must work to be 10 times better, faster,  and stronger than other groups to achieve in life.

Yes, I have been told that I am too white and not black enough.

Yes, I have been profiled.

Yes, I have been discriminated by my own people. 

This is my experience in the 28 years I have been alive. I can’t wish the discrimination away. People have said it to my face. Have pretended to like me on the one hand but on the other hand be racist and act different towards people like me (i.e. two-faced). Or the shady people who politely express their racists thoughts. This is my life. I’m living while black. I learn to roll with the hate and let it slide off.

My Genetic Makeup

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.-Psalm 139:13-16

There were moments in my life where I did not like the color of my skin, my hair, my history, and my entire being. It was like…

“Why would a country known as the melting pot condone slavery, Jim Crow laws, legislation that created discrimination, or exploitation of minorities?

Why do people look at me funny?

Why do people say I am the whitest black they have every met? OR I speak well for a black person?

Why can’t I just be me?

My sweet Haitian mom would always tell me, “Bianca, you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You are not a mistake. You are not in anyone’s spot. You are you. If people don’t like you because of your skin color, then they got to take it up with God.” Sometimes it got annoying but I still hold that truth when someone tries to discount me. God made me with more melanin in my skin. But God knew who I was before my mother knew me. He specifically designed Bianca for the world. He formed me for a purpose. Nobody can take that away from me. I am more than my skin color. 

So the next time you fall into doubt about who you are and whose you are. Insert your name: God specifically design “me, your name” for the world. I have a purpose. Nobody can take what God has put in me. That my friends is confidence in the King.

Today In 2018

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness. Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble. But anyone who hates a brother or sister is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness. They do not know where they are going, because the darkness has blinded them.-1 John 2:9-11

With the current administration, I start seeing people’s true feelings and tendencies. I must question and discern who genuinely likes me as a person or is pretending. To be blunt, this administration has shown so much hatred that it is sickening. And the people who support, stay silent, or condone the hate and injustice of racism are guilty. PERIOD. You are looking from the outside.

I have unfriended, unfollowed, or separated myself from people like that. I can’t be  around people who “like sweet Bianca” yet say foul, foolish racist things. Yes, we are people and we disagree but there is no place for violence, threats, or hate.

Be true to yourself. If you are racist, then at least I know. But you do not live in truth but in darkness. I pray for these people who say Christ is my Savior but display racial bigotry. I really hope they know the truth of Jesus in their hearts because if not, eternity will be a desolate, wasteland of pain and agony for them.

All For One

For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.-1 Corinthians 12:13

Racism is not of God. It’s not what He created us for. He created us for unification. To be one body. When Jesus went to the Cross and died for humanity’s sin, it vanquished division. So division by racism is sinful in God’s eyes. The Enemy wants division, us against them, stereotypical boxes from society, “the supreme race.” The Enemy wants us to hate one another. The more we hate, the more he stirs the sin.

But the beauty of the Enemy’s reign is it is temporary. Jesus will come back and restore everything. Humanity will be one. All will bow..even Satan himself. There will be no wars, suffering, or division. God will unify all of us under Him.

God’s Favorite

For God does not show favoritism.-Romans 2:10

So not sorry to burst your bubble but there is no supreme race. One race is not better than another. God does not favor anyone but regards all. All are one in His Kingdom.

What To Do Now?

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.-Ephesians 4:29-32

Washington cannot fix the problem. It all starts and ends with your heart. You have a choice as a human being. God is on the side of humility. Racism is evil. PERIOD! Whatever is in your heart will flow in what you do and how you treat people. That is all.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Society’s Lack of Blissful Truth

Society’s Lack of Blissful Truth

Our society is turning to a place where  “fake news” replaces facts and truth is distorted. People are posting and saying inaccurate information without any credible sources or resources. Truth seems irrelevant depending on who it affects.

To God, good is good and bad is bad. The truth is what it is. God does not give favoritism to the rich and powerful. God does not care about one race more than another. God does not distort truth whenever He feels like it. 

To know what is true and false, one must practice discernment. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines discernment as the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure. 

As a Christ-follower, I am responsible for what information I take. And so are you. I have to filter what I watch, read, and listen to. There are people in the world who give information to get a rise from vulnerable, uninformed people. There are people who want to discredit, defraud,  distort, and downplay.

But truth is not a Bianca thing. God talks about discernment and wisdom.

My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion;  they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.-Proverbs 3:21-22

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.-Proverbs 11:22

Blessed is the one  who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the  way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,  but whose delight is in the law of the Lordand who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked!  They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.-Psalm 1

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.-Ephesians 4:29

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.-1 Peter 5:8

So think to yourself, is what I am saying or doing edifying or unwise to my audience? Is what I am saying or doing kind or mean? Would what I say or do be something Jesus would do? That is my process when I blog, post, and live.

It does not mean be weak or hate everything but question and realize that there are liars out there.

God’s Word should prevail. Man’s word will disappoint and will fail somewhere down the road. 

God warns that there is a major deceiver who steals, kills, and destroys. So be watchful and sober-minded because the days are evil. Know the truth in God’s eyes.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Why I Will Never Be An Evangelical

Why I Will Never Be An Evangelical

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.  Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

1 Peter 2:9-10

In the news and media, the term, “evangelical” has been thrown around as a way to box all Christians into this one stereotype.  At first, it did not bother me. I was a Bible-believing Christian. I went to church. I tithed. I went on mission trips. I was all around good.

But now, my perception has changed. Being an earthly evangelical seems more attached to an earthly institution.  With the current resident of the White House, some evangelicals do not reflect who Christ is. They tend to forget their allegiance to God for a political party. They may “love their neighbor” but post hateful, racists things online. They smile at me yet hate someone who looks like me. They “love my little Haitian family” but hate the “illegals who invade their land.” Their Savior is in a political party or a president. They act in a way that America is heaven when this is not our final destination. 

I personally chose my banner to the world to be a Christ-following evangelist, not an “earthly evangelical.” The last time I checked Jesus did not say I had to be a Republican or a conservative to get to Heaven. A political party does not represent Jesus.

A Christ-following evangelist is a kingdom-minded person who is set apart and who stands on Biblical values on all issues.

It’s easy to talk about family values and abortion but where are the christians and evangelical groups who stand with the immigrants, the women, widows, the orphans, the discriminated, etc?

Is there silence?

A silent Christian towards injustice is an ineffective ambassador for Christ. Silence means complacency. Jesus was bold on the issues. He challenged the injustices of people….He went so far to die on the cross for all the sins of the world. Jesus did not waiver his beliefs based on the government.

I am not calling for anarchy but, Christians, let’s not trail-mix God’s Word into what we want and don’t want. All of God’s Word is TRUTH…point blank. All issues matter in God’s eyes. 

The world is watching us. Where we stand. Who we stand for. How we stand. 

“Earthly Evangelicals” are not the ones to win souls to Christ. Authentic Christ-following evangelists who live set apart and tell the truth with God as their guide have an impact. God knows the hearts of man and He can transform lives. We, as Christ followers, are the vessels. It’s not enough to have the title of  “Christian” or “evangelical”.

No Christian is the same. All of us are sinners destined for hell. Jesus went to the Cross to save us ALL. I am not perfect and I fail miserably in my walk. But God has given me grace and mercy. Thus, I chose to win souls by being His. It’s what I strive and what all Christ-followers should strive for.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Laying It All Out

Laying It All Out

With everything that is going on in the world, I wanted to set the record straight on my personal journey as a Christ follower.

I feel like this will be a challenge because I will be discussing my personal stance on certain hot topics. I may lose friends. I may lose followers. But I am willing to lay it out.

First, my allegiance is not to a party, a religious group, or a Facebook group. My allegiance is to Jesus Christ alone. Yes, I am in this world. But I am not of this world. Yes, I am thankful to live in America but I know this is not my permanent home. Heaven is my home.

Second, I do not speak for all Christians. I speak for myself. I have my own convictions. I believe what I believe. I am open to hear people out but ultimately I have my opinion.

Third, I speak from my own experiences. I do not live the same life as everyone so my viewpoint will be unique. Sometimes, you will understand where I am coming from. Sometimes you won’t.

Fourth, I am a sinner saved by grace. I make mistakes. I am no way perfect. I don’t want to preach to you. I am stating my own truth. These posts are to challenge myself as much as you all.

I hope you take each post with a grain of salt. I hope you are challenged. I hope you are encouraged. Thanks

Blissfully,

Bianca

The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler

The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler

She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.-vs. 13-19

Let’s just take a moment to notice Ms. Proverbs 31 was about that hustle and about that coin. 

I always admire women who take charge. The verbs in this passages: She selects, she brings, she gets up, She consider (or to me surveys), She sets, She sees, She holds, She grasps.

There have been times in my life where dinosaurs (i.e. patriarchal, jerky men) have said: a woman’s place is at home. The men do business. Or women should who have careers are bad mothers because they are neglecting their responsibilities. Well excuse me for not caring…the Proverbs 31 woman worked inside and outside the home. She is taking care of her children but she is also getting that coin. She wakes up early to handle her affairs with her family and servants before she heads out.

I have always asked women professionals, “Can women have it all: The husband, the children, the career?” Most of them have said yes and no: There must be a balance, there will be sacrifices, there will be ups and downs but you have to prioritize what is important. Fair enough answer.

A Proverbs 31 woman in my life went to nursing school with three children under the age of 10 (two children with disabilities), a part-time job as a pharmacy technician, a mortgage and a husband. Did people doubt and scold her because she wanted to a nurse? Yes. Did she have people tell her that she was crazy, that she had two sick children, that what kind of mother leaves her children behind to go to school, that english is her second language? Of course. But you know what? That God that was in her was greater than the critics around her. And she became a registered nurse by God’s power. That woman is my mother.  She would make sure food was on the table. She made it to almost every chorus concert I was in. She would pay for school lunch and my school supplies. BUT she also was studying long hours. She would wake early to head to school and clinicals. She hustled and did it.

And you know what? My mom’s career has helped our family and extended family in their medical care. So she did not go wrong going to school. It actually made the difference in our family.

A woman can hustle anywhere and can do anything to make it. Some women make their full-time job to raise the children  and look after the household (which should be a high-ranking job in itself). Some women work inside and outside the home. Some women work outside the home and the husband takes care of the household. One woman is not better than the other.  Don’t diminish one category. Let it be celebrated. Each woman living up to her God-given role.

A Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler works hard wherever she is: no matter if it’s for herself, for her family, or for her boss.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

The Modern, Fashionable Proverbs 31 Woman

The Modern, Fashionable Proverbs 31 Woman

In this day in age, beauty is everywhere. Beauty blogs, beauty tutorials, beauty ads. What’s in what’s out. Beauty transformations. The smoky eye. How to blend your foundation using an egg. So many brands, so little money. Gotta look on fleek, flawless, sexy. Gotta not look like a zombie. Whether it’s for a lover or that family member who says “You would look so much better if you just put some makeup on.” So you thrive to look your best.

Clothes…let’s not get started. You gotta look put together. Sweatpants could be considered as lazy. Gotta look professional. What size am I? Does this store carry my size? Why do I need to show more skin/less skin? Why does that person look better in that than me? If I were only smaller, fuller, had bigger (fill in body part).

Let’s be real, ladies. It take so much to feel pretty and worthy according to the beauty standards. It’s a lot of pressure. Even as a upcoming attorney, I have to dress the part and look close to an “Olivia Pope” attorney. It’s just hard. Now I am not saying that all women should NOT be a hot mess. I’m just saying..it’s hard in these streets.

Thankfully, Jesus does not determine if a woman is worthy based on her looks.

Proverbs 31 states:

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. vs. 25-26

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.-vs. 29-30

Being clothed in good character never goes out of style. God believes in beauty from the inside out. Strength and dignity is confidence you wear no matter how you look, what color you are, what size you are. Wisdom is something to gain and attain as a fashionable accessory. A good word never goes out of style. An uncompromising woman of the Lord is worthy in her own right. A woman who humbles herself before God will be “youthful” and beautiful from the inside out.

If you have a beauty routine, don’t feel bad. If you don’t have a beauty routine, don’t feel bad. This is not a bashing of one ideal. Just know you have choices in life. God’s beauty standards are different than man’s beauty standard. God created woman in His image as well.

A modern, fashionable, Proverbs 31 is beautiful based on her God-given character that radiates from the inside out.

Uncompromising

Blissfully,

Bianca