The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler

The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler

She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.-vs. 13-19

Let’s just take a moment to notice Ms. Proverbs 31 was about that hustle and about that coin. 

I always admire women who take charge. The verbs in this passages: She selects, she brings, she gets up, She consider (or to me surveys), She sets, She sees, She holds, She grasps.

There have been times in my life where dinosaurs (i.e. patriarchal, jerky men) have said: a woman’s place is at home. The men do business. Or women should who have careers are bad mothers because they are neglecting their responsibilities. Well excuse me for not caring…the Proverbs 31 woman worked inside and outside the home. She is taking care of her children but she is also getting that coin. She wakes up early to handle her affairs with her family and servants before she heads out.

I have always asked women professionals, “Can women have it all: The husband, the children, the career?” Most of them have said yes and no: There must be a balance, there will be sacrifices, there will be ups and downs but you have to prioritize what is important. Fair enough answer.

A Proverbs 31 woman in my life went to nursing school with three children under the age of 10 (two children with disabilities), a part-time job as a pharmacy technician, a mortgage and a husband. Did people doubt and scold her because she wanted to a nurse? Yes. Did she have people tell her that she was crazy, that she had two sick children, that what kind of mother leaves her children behind to go to school, that english is her second language? Of course. But you know what? That God that was in her was greater than the critics around her. And she became a registered nurse by God’s power. That woman is my mother.  She would make sure food was on the table. She made it to almost every chorus concert I was in. She would pay for school lunch and my school supplies. BUT she also was studying long hours. She would wake early to head to school and clinicals. She hustled and did it.

And you know what? My mom’s career has helped our family and extended family in their medical care. So she did not go wrong going to school. It actually made the difference in our family.

A woman can hustle anywhere and can do anything to make it. Some women make their full-time job to raise the children  and look after the household (which should be a high-ranking job in itself). Some women work inside and outside the home. Some women work outside the home and the husband takes care of the household. One woman is not better than the other.  Don’t diminish one category. Let it be celebrated. Each woman living up to her God-given role.

A Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler works hard wherever she is: no matter if it’s for herself, for her family, or for her boss.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

The Modern, Fashionable Proverbs 31 Woman

The Modern, Fashionable Proverbs 31 Woman

In this day in age, beauty is everywhere. Beauty blogs, beauty tutorials, beauty ads. What’s in what’s out. Beauty transformations. The smoky eye. How to blend your foundation using an egg. So many brands, so little money. Gotta look on fleek, flawless, sexy. Gotta not look like a zombie. Whether it’s for a lover or that family member who says “You would look so much better if you just put some makeup on.” So you thrive to look your best.

Clothes…let’s not get started. You gotta look put together. Sweatpants could be considered as lazy. Gotta look professional. What size am I? Does this store carry my size? Why do I need to show more skin/less skin? Why does that person look better in that than me? If I were only smaller, fuller, had bigger (fill in body part).

Let’s be real, ladies. It take so much to feel pretty and worthy according to the beauty standards. It’s a lot of pressure. Even as a upcoming attorney, I have to dress the part and look close to an “Olivia Pope” attorney. It’s just hard. Now I am not saying that all women should NOT be a hot mess. I’m just saying..it’s hard in these streets.

Thankfully, Jesus does not determine if a woman is worthy based on her looks.

Proverbs 31 states:

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. vs. 25-26

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.-vs. 29-30

Being clothed in good character never goes out of style. God believes in beauty from the inside out. Strength and dignity is confidence you wear no matter how you look, what color you are, what size you are. Wisdom is something to gain and attain as a fashionable accessory. A good word never goes out of style. An uncompromising woman of the Lord is worthy in her own right. A woman who humbles herself before God will be “youthful” and beautiful from the inside out.

If you have a beauty routine, don’t feel bad. If you don’t have a beauty routine, don’t feel bad. This is not a bashing of one ideal. Just know you have choices in life. God’s beauty standards are different than man’s beauty standard. God created woman in His image as well.

A modern, fashionable, Proverbs 31 is beautiful based on her God-given character that radiates from the inside out.

Uncompromising

Blissfully,

Bianca

Unapologetic Courage

Unapologetic Courage

 

 

cf872bb0d611a9c9f158b5c07f77566cIt takes courage to be unapologetic.

You’re not the norm.

You’re not in your place.

You decide that you are better than your circumstances.

You decide that you are not inferior, subordinate, impotent, and unimportant.

Some believe in division and evil dominance.

Nevertheless, you persist.

You are nasty.

You are revolutionary.

You speak, act, and walk, in your truth.

You are not the norm.

You are the resistance.

Courage

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Basic Love Principle

A Basic Love Principle

Love is not a selective, suspicious process for certain worthy people. Some people replace love with name-calling, discrimination, and stereotyping. Some of the worst people who do that are Christians. They love God and know scripture yet they stare and prejudice people in their own church that are different from them. I have been a victim to that as if I am lesser than because of the way I am. Some people believe that some are worthy of love and that is not what God intended. I love who I am because God says I am worthy. 

Love transcends race, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, etc. Love comes from God. Jesus showed His love to everyone even though some will never come to faith. Jesus was not selective but wants everyone to come to faith. It is a simple command: love people because Jesus loves you. Jesus created us all in His image. No one is better than the other. 

So friends, be kind and love even when it is difficult. It’s as simple as saying hello and looking someone in the eye.

I close with this scripture. Happy Valentine’s Day! Love is for all people.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.  Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.  This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.  This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.  There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.  Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.- 1 John 4:7-21

Suspicious

Blissfully,

Bianca

Politically Speaking

Politically Speaking

Now I know what you are thinking…another post about a conspiracy theory, party baiting, how much I don’t like “fill in the blank.” Friends, it’s not that kind of post. It is more of my perspective as an African American voter and law-abiding citizen.

If you did not know already, I am a Democrat and a Christ-follower. Go figure…

Former President Barack Obama will always hold a special place in my heart. Not just because he was the first African American President. He is the first president I ever voted for as a college freshman. I remember early voting with my mom and being so excited to be a part of the process. My mom picked me up from college to bring me home to vote. After voting, I rushed to my mom and said, “Mom, I did it! I voted for the first time!” Not even going to lie but I got an applause from people still waiting to vote. (really cool).

Election Night 2008: I wish I could say election night brought the same excitement but it was not. I was sitting in my dorm room waiting for the results. When they said the projected winner is Barack Obama, my roommate left the room, slammed the door, and went to another friend’s room to express how livid she was. Me, I was secretly doing somersaults in my head. I did, however do a victory dance to “Walk It Out” for about a minute until my roommate came back. You see, I went to a Southern, Baptist Christian College where Jesus and traditional, Republican values reigned supreme. It was already enough that I was a minority far from home but I was a Democrat. There were some Democrat students who were bolder and were openly happy with Obama. But that caused tension. So I was afraid because I thought that I would lose friends and be looked at differently.

After election night, the day was full on tension between students. But a moment of relief came when a classmate said “So how do you feel about having someone who looks just like you running the free world?” It was not mean or condescening but more like he was intrigued. I conjured this response, “Seeing Barack Obama means I have no excuse to fail in life. I can do anything..be anything. Anything is possible.” But even after that conversation, I decided to hide my political party from people and rarely speak politics.

Reelection 2012: I transferred and graduated from a Military College (I was a civilian student). There was a little more diversity but not enough to freely share my views. I was involved in Christian circles where once again, not going to express my individual political prowess. I was a minority far from home and secretly a Democrat. On election night, I remembered “not caring” about the results but I was nervous. I went to the gym that evening (rare moment). I came to my dorm room and continued to wait for results. 4 MORE YEARS! I messaged my secret Christian, Democrat friend on FB. I even celebrated with another female Democrat in our dorm hall (“She said our candidate won! You are a Democrat right!?! I said “Yes!”). Such a relief.

My “coming out of the political closet” occurred as a law student. My law school had a diverse group of ideas from all walks of life. It was a relief to find people a lot like myself. So, I declared it on Facebook. I was learning the law and was really getting convicted about where I stand on issues. My faith was growing as well along with my political views.  I was a grown woman doing life. Why do I need to hide what I believe? My experiences have shaped me. It’s who I am. I had to stand in my truth. Once I did it, it was relief. 

Fast forward to 2018, it was important to stand in my truth then because now, I stand bolder. There is a lot of adversity, division, discrediting, and discrimination among people. There is less empathy and more hate. Facts seem relative. More name-calling and discrimination. I am not afraid of what I believe. I am not afraid to speak my mind and speak biblical truths as well. And you know what: God did not say that I had to be a Republican to reach heaven so there. 

As an African American, the media likes to talk about our votes, what’s going on in “our community,” etc. An interesting question I have heard is “What has Obama done for our community?” You know what I think: Besides a few legislative victories, he has shown me that I can truly be anything with hard word and dedication. His life was not easy but he made it. So, I can make it. Yes, I can. YES. I. CAN.

Conjure

Blissfully,

Bianca

I’m Not Your Token Black Friend

I’m Not Your Token Black Friend

 

I usually I don’t think of my race until someone points it out.

You are the nicest black person I have met.

You are well-spoken for a black person.

You’re not like those other black people.

I’m not a racist..I mean I’m friends with Bianca.

It almost seems we became friends because of my exterior rather than the interior. And there have times I have been an excuse for ignorance. Like they permit themselves to use my name to “save” their behavior.

It’s not like I say I have “white, asian, (fill in the blank) friends as prize of diversity. I chose to see character over countenance. I don’t make friends based a diversity checklist. I am not your exception to your ignorance and stereotypical bias. I don’t want to be your “only black” friend in an argument. Can’t I just be your friend!?! It makes me question your intentions and character. So stop. Stop using my skin color to make a point.

Permit

Blissfully,

Bianca

New Uncharted Territory

New Uncharted Territory

Have you ever had someone in your life whose life is like a hamster on its wheel going 80 mph? Their trouble is the same. You try to free them, tell, implore to stop the drama and madness and yet run back to the things and people who destroys their being. 

Instead of getting frustrated, I try to see life from their perspective. For them, it is hard to stop spinning in madness. A clean slate can be scary. A new start means leaving the past. It means healing from the inside out. It means starting over. It is just uncharted territory.

Blissfully,

Bianca

MLK Day In the Trump Era

MLK Day In the Trump Era

It is an interesting time in history. Hate, ignorance, and complacency exists from the top to the bottom. It feels like every day different people from different walks of life are discriminated, hated, prejudiced, bashed, and treated lesser than. Even in the mist of darkness, good shines. There are people from all walks of life shining with good works and deeds. Darkness is temporary when we speak out against injustice. Knowledge and education is vital and needed. Truth needs to be sent to the ends of the world. Study rather than stereotype. Learn rather than limit. Heal rather than hurt. Love rather than hate.

Study

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Mild Night Long Ago..

A Mild Night Long Ago..

A mild night where the Savior was born.

In a humble setting

The star was the trail to the Savior

In the mist of chaos, He fulfilled age old prophesy.

Many came to see the miracle.

The baby who would change humanity.

Mild

May everyone have a Merry Christmas! The true meaning of Christmas is the mild, peace that came to Earth to save.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Changes Through Lenses

Changes Through Lenses

we-will-never-forget

There are unexpected changes that alter the world. I wish I could say I understand all changes but I do not.

Being 11 on September 11, 2001 was a scary place. Chaos. Fear. Tragedy. These are words I did not understand. I learned sympathy for the lives lost. I learned that life is fleeting. I learned bad things happen.

I also learned that God is not blind to pain and suffering. I do not know why this happened but God knows why. God is still in control. Even though it has been 16 years, it is hard.

I wanted to leave you with the hope of Jesus Christ.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.-Psalm 34:18

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In theworld you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”-John 16:33

 I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.-Psalm 121:1-2

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.-James 1:1-2

Sympathy

Blissfully,

Bianca