As A Single in the Local Church

As A Single in the Local Church

So I have been single for 28 years of my life.

From 0-18, I was a kid…no need for boyfriends. I was not allowed to date till I was 18.

From 18-25, I was single. I was in the Young College group. Safe security. There were single people, dating couples, even engaged couples. 

Then came 25-28, I am too old to be in the Young College group but too young for the Adult Singles….hmm…

I have been in local churches where there was a singles population and where I was single, professional party of one. 

There have been times where I felt invisible. I was not in a relationship. I was not married. I was not married with children. It’s like I was not exciting enough. It’s like the best questions I was asked was: “So what do you do these days?” 

Or when your friends talk about the kids carpooling, baby stories, wedding plans, “marriage moments,” breastfeeding tips, homeschooling ideas, and you’re like “I finished organizing my DVD collection.” and they say “Oh, that’s nice” and get back to their life talks….like that’s not exciting!!!

What’s up with that? I am exciting. I do stuff. I am not at home knitting in my tower waiting for my prince to come. 

Sometimes I feel like there is a disconnect with the Church and single people. We are just as valuable as the married people, the elderly people, the divorced people, the widowers, the college people, the children. Sometimes it feels like the Church wants me “to get married already” so I can be exciting.

Sometimes I feel “left out” or “alienated” for being single. There aren’t any singles programs at church, a thriving singles ministry, or even singles at the Church that I can relate to. I just have to be alone and accept that I may get the short-end.

There is not a solution to my frustration. Sometimes it’s just the way things are. Situations are what they are.

For any single Christian,it’s all about opportunity. Pray for the opportunities to feel included in the body of Christ. To be active. To be involved. To meet authentic people who pour into your life.

Inadequacy of relationship status is the Enemy’s way of telling lies that “you’re not good enough ,” “you’re alone because you are the problem,” “you can’t be a part of a church; you’re not married with kids,”These people won’t like you, you’re not married.” These are lies that I combat in my own life. Like I have to change churches because I may be the only person like me. Don’t think that. Ask for the Holy Spirit to guide you and give you confidence.

Yes, I do fellowship with all kinds of people. I am an extrovert at heart so I will talk to anyone with a pulse. God has shown me avenues to be involved with other Christian singles and other types of people. One of them being Bible Study Fellowship (BSF) where there are classes for men, women, and children from all walks of life in different stages of life. God has sent wonderful friends from all relationship statuses who love me and accept me as their single friend. God has opened doors where I can serve and be a part of the body of Christ.

So, pray for those avenues and people who can encourage and uplift you. God hears the single person too. We are assets to the body. Yes, it may feel uncomfortable but God likes that. Don’t complain when God opens those doors differently than you thought.  God answers prayers in the way He sees fit.  It’ll work out.

Single Christian, you will be alright. Hang on and stay strong.

Blissfully,

Bianca

My Lenses on the Immigrant

My Lenses on the Immigrant

This is not about policy, nationalism, or border control. This is not about deportation or ICE. This is not about what administrations have done. This is not about who deserves to be here and who does not. This is not about criminals, amnesty, overpopulation, merit-based vs. open immigration. 

This is about human decency. This is about loving your neighbor as yourself. 

This issue is very close to my heart because I am the daughter of Haitian immigrants. I am a first generation American. Even though my citizenship is never questioned, I don’t think for one minute that this issue does not apply to me.

I am not the person I am without the sacrifice of my parents. Like many immigrants, they worked hard even in the face of discrimination and doubt. They provided for their families. They mastered a language that is not their own. They came to America for a better life for their descendants. And I am a result of them. 

If you did not know, the Bible is filled with immigration that stemmed from a great migration, displacement, wars, etc.  Even Jesus Christ was an immigrant, born in a foreign land and fleeing death in his first years of life.

We are all strangers that were once lost but found with Christ. 

No race is better than another.

We must treat strangers as we would like to be treated. Yes, even the bad ones (love your enemies..it’s in the Bible).

If you think this is hearsay, the Bible explicitly says how to treat a stranger/immigrant in your land:

“When a stranger sojourns with you in your land, you shall not do him wrong. You shall treat the stranger who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the land of Egypt: I am the Lord your God.”-Leviticus 19:33-34

“‘Cursed be anyone who perverts the justice due to the sojourner, the fatherless, and the widow.’ And all the people shall say, ‘Amen.’- Deutoromony 27:19

He executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the sojourner, giving him food and clothing.-Deutoronomy 10:18

Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.-Hebrews 13:2

Separating families, discriminating against them, telling them to “go back to your country,” the physical and emotional abuses during detainment. demeaning, racists behavior towards them is NOT of God. Anyone who condones that behavior is on the side of evil.

Remember did God treat you in a discriminatory way when you first came to Him? You aren’t all that to be honest…you are actually dirty, filthy rags (Isaiah 64:6) before Christ came. Just saying…

God calls us to love immigrants where they are. To clothe, feed, shelter, and care for widowers and children. God shows us how to be His hands and feet to these communities. It varies on how that looks in your personal journey. I’m not saying you need to give immigrants everything you have but have humility. How would you want to be treated in a foreign land?

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.-Galatians 3:28

But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ,-Philippians 3:20

In the grand scheme of the Gospel, your citizenship to heaven does not depend on your national origin or ancestry. God loves diversity. Every tribe and every tongue will be with Jesus someday….even the immigrants will be there. It depends on your heart and how you treat God’s people. That’s all.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Society’s Lack of Blissful Truth

Society’s Lack of Blissful Truth

Our society is turning to a place where  “fake news” replaces facts and truth is distorted. People are posting and saying inaccurate information without any credible sources or resources. Truth seems irrelevant depending on who it affects.

To God, good is good and bad is bad. The truth is what it is. God does not give favoritism to the rich and powerful. God does not care about one race more than another. God does not distort truth whenever He feels like it. 

To know what is true and false, one must practice discernment. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines discernment as the quality of being able to grasp and comprehend what is obscure. 

As a Christ-follower, I am responsible for what information I take. And so are you. I have to filter what I watch, read, and listen to. There are people in the world who give information to get a rise from vulnerable, uninformed people. There are people who want to discredit, defraud,  distort, and downplay.

But truth is not a Bianca thing. God talks about discernment and wisdom.

My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion;  they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck.-Proverbs 3:21-22

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion.-Proverbs 11:22

Blessed is the one  who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the  way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers,  but whose delight is in the law of the Lordand who meditates on his law day and night. That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither—whatever they do prospers. Not so the wicked!  They are like chaff that the wind blows away. Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked leads to destruction.-Psalm 1

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.-Ephesians 4:29

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.-1 Peter 5:8

So think to yourself, is what I am saying or doing edifying or unwise to my audience? Is what I am saying or doing kind or mean? Would what I say or do be something Jesus would do? That is my process when I blog, post, and live.

It does not mean be weak or hate everything but question and realize that there are liars out there.

God’s Word should prevail. Man’s word will disappoint and will fail somewhere down the road. 

God warns that there is a major deceiver who steals, kills, and destroys. So be watchful and sober-minded because the days are evil. Know the truth in God’s eyes.

Blissfully,

Bianca