In this current season, my list of rules transform with time, experiences, and seasons. I believe that the older you get, the more you realize things about yourself. Being 30 for almost a year, my attitude has changed. I am allergic to BS and I learn to abstain from toxicity. So here is a blissful tips I apply in my life.
- Be a good citizen– No, this is not about a title or stamp of national citizenship. My mom always told me this. Be a person with integrity, kindness, respect, and humility to others.
- Words matter– Especially in the day and age, words can really have an effect on others. I don’t say being politically correct. It is acknowledging what you say and how you say it. Everyone is different so read the room when you speak.
- Be a bridge-With the heightened need of change and justice for marginalized communities, my form of advocacy is being a bridge by teaching and giving perspective. You don’t know if someone does not tell you. That does not mean people cannot figure things out but I try to be a resource if need be.
- See others the way Christ sees them– I try to love others because we are all created in God’s image. Disrespecting and discriminating against someone is discriminating against God.
- Listen and be open– I tell myself this. With different opinions, I cannot talk over people and say “I’m right; you’re wrong.” Nothing gets solved. But I can open my mind to different perspectives. It does not mean I will agree all the time. It is a perspective that is all. I have the power to do what I want to do with being open.
- If it does not add value or feed my soul, eliminate it. It’s social media, it’s dating, and everything in-between. Life is too short to deal with negativity and accepting it. Nah fam…not worth my mental health.
- Do my best. Life is not perfect but I can do what I can and let it be.
It’s a simple concept but it is important. You can’t take care of anyone if you can’t take care yourself. You can pour your heart out and give your time, energy, and spirit to work, activities, clubs/organizations, school, church, friends, and family. But who is left empty? You.
I know from experience. I know what it is like spreading yourself thin. I am naturally a people pleaser; I want everyone to be happy. But I overexerted myself. I was depressed and drained putting on a smile for the world and dying on the inside. I would stress myself out to the point where I could not sleep and my overall health was unstable.
I had to take my life back. This is an ongoing issue I struggle with so I am preaching to myself as well as you.
Keep these tips in mind for your self-care:
- Learn to say no. Not everything thrown in front of you is a high priority. Yes, there are things that you need to take care immediately. But, know that your self-care is a high priority as well.
- Organize your priorities. Whether it is a daily to-do list, a calendar, an app, organize your life. I personally have my calendar app and calendar to get dates and events together. It is important to take time to sit down and write/type stuff out. I forget this but with my schedule being busier, I need to prioritize so I don’t overbook.
- Set time for yourself. Whether it is a 30 minute block or a whole day, you need time to recharge. Fill yourself up. You don’t have to go out. You can rest and not look at your phone, read, or just do something relaxing. I have to set “me time” for my own sanity. It’s really nice when you take a moment to breathe. Things I do: I paint (whether it’s a paint class or my own home paint night), I read, I run, I sleep. You need to unwind in some way so make that time.
- Don’t feel rushed to make a decision. You know those people who say “I need a decision NOW!” I say, They can wait. No person should ever pressure you to make rash decisions or commit to something so quickly. I am excluding emergency situations but you know where I am getting at?
- Be a little selfish. Like I said, you need to make yourself a priority every once and a while. There is nothing wrong with “me time.” The people who need you will still be there after your break.
Remember your body works when you work towards your own well-being. You have to be honest with yourself. Do you take time for yourself? Like I said, it does not need to be a whole day, just a few minutes. Love yourself, take care of yourself. Your body will thank you.
Summer is HERE! Time to put away sweaters and sweatshirts. Time to revive shorts, bathing suits, tank tops, dresses, rompers, and everything awesome. But you need a survival kit to thrive and still have your skin intact.
My list is actually what I use. It would not be blissful if I did not use it. So, heed my list and apply it to your summer schedule.
Aloe Vera Gel– I burn up internally in the heat. It takes hours for me to cool down. It’s almost like I want a bucket of ice to fall on me all the time. Aloe is a cooling anti-inflammatory plant that moisturizes the skin without being greasy. I used it on my last family vacation and it really did the job. It also helps with sunburn relief. It also provides Vitamin C and E which you and I need to survive the sun’s rays.
Hair Tie/Hat– It’s vital for ladies ( and men with hair) to have it. It gets hot. If you have hair, the heat can make you sweat. A hair tie is your lifeline. Also, if you have hair that cannot fit in a hat, a hair tie is an alternative tool to keep cool. A hat is great too and can be a fashion statement.
Sunglasses– Protect your eyes. I have prescription sunglasses. You don’t want to go blind. The sun can hurt your eyes and may cause you to have headaches. Plus, you can make it a fashion statement to go with your outfit.
Water– Stay hydrated. The worst thing is to be dehydrated. I keep a bottled water handy. Don’t wait till you’re on the brink of dryness. Take sips and drink more than one (speaking to myself).
Sunscreen– Believe it or not. People with more melanin need sunscreen too. I need higher SPF for my skin. So protect your skin at all costs.
In honor of Mother’s Day Weekend, I wanted to share my mom’s wise words to me. I am not the person I am today without her strength, love, and guidance. Though she has taught me a lot of things, I wanted to narrow down the list because it would be an encyclopedia with 10 volumes. But I hope you are encouraged by her words in your own life.
- Trust God and Yourself
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
- You are NOT in anyone’s spot. God has you wherever you are for a reason.
- You are worthy because God says you are.
- Do not be ashamed of who you are.
- Be patient with yourself
- It’s ok if you don’t get it right the first time. You’re human.
- Never envy anyone else’s life because you don’t know what they had to do to get what they have.
- Enjoy your single life.
- God will order your steps. You are alright.
Well 2016 is almost over. It’s really been something. My year has been a rollercoaster of great times and moments to hard lessons to learn. But we have lived to see another year. 2017 can be greater than the last. So for my last post of 2016, I will give you 5 Blissful Tips to Remember going Forward into 2017.
- The setbacks of 2016 are lessons if you don’t allow them to keep you down in 2017. If you did not know, life is not a perfect cloud of happiness. You have to get up and brush yourself off. Don’t let the failures overtake you and do not let people use it against you. Your story is YOUR STORY. Take ownership of your life. Keep moving forward.
- Be thankful for what you have but keep a hunger for what you want to have. Your goals and dreams are valid. No matter where you are, no matter how old you are, no matter how much time you lost, as long as there is breath in your body, you can achieve anything. Hustle hard!!
- Eliminate, Eliminate, Eliminate. Know that you have one life to live. You have purpose in life. And you have a divine right to remove, unfriend,and separate yourself from toxic people and things who make it their business to infringe negativity on your life. Take your life back!!!
- Indulge Yourself. Take care of yourself mind, body, and spirit. Only you can determine what you need. Treat yourself every once in a while.
- Keep God first. I will always keep going back to that but it’s true. God is perfect and all-knowing. He knows your heart and your passions. Trust His truth, Trust His Word.
May you all have a Happy New Year. Keep moving forward, keep God first, love the skin you are in, and strive for excellence. Love you all. Thank you being on this journey with me these past four months!! See you in 2017!!!
The holiday season is STILL in full swing. As a single person, depending on what’s going on in life, it can be tough being “just you with no plus one.” Friends get engaged, family ask why you are still single, holiday specials and movies that make you wish you had someone, holiday parties without a plus one, etc.
But DO NOT FRET!! Single People, I have tips for your worries about this season.
- Wear your singlehood with pride when family and friends question you. Talk about the other blessings you have now because something eventful probably happened to you. Talk about school, a hobby, work, just something else besides your relationship status. A relationship is not the sum total of your life. Your life is interesting. If you dig deep and realize that you are more than your relationship status, then wearing your single banner with pride will not make you feel bad when your friends and family intentionally or unintentionally question “Why/How are you still single?” Smile, tell them you still single, and tell them what is going on in your fabulous single life.
- Give back to people who do not have the things you have. The holidays can be hard for people who are alone (not just single but they do not have anyone). Give back to others. Show a little extra kindness. Giving back does something to you and to another. A simple thing is giving out handwritten Christmas cards. It may be small but it could mean a lot to someone (believe me…I have seen it before).
- Give yourself a gift. Yes I said it!! Treat yourself to a nice present this holiday season. I started this tradition two years ago. I wanted to buy a ring for myself rather than wait for my husband to give me. It started to turn into a beautiful symbol of my journey as a single lady. Plus, it is good to spoil yourself every now and then.
- Rest. Easier said than done but do rest. You do not have to sleep but do something as a form of relaxation. Read a book for fun, sleep, Netflix (and be happy), etc.
- Enjoy the blessings around you. Like I said in #1, single life is still a blessed life. Enjoy your family and friends. Enjoy the provision God has blessed you with. Do not take it for granted.
Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!