Back To Basics: Don’t Give Up!

Back To Basics: Don’t Give Up!

Sometimes situations seem hopeless. It feels like no matter what you try to do, things just don’t work out.

Disappointment, pain, anxiety, depression, jealousy, and helplessness.

You try. You cast your net to opportunity hoping for something but you come up short.

I know that feeling all too well. The easy thing is to give up. But God says “No.” Every valley, trial, and setback is TEMPORARY. It won’t last forever. God says, “To everything, there is a season.”

There is a time to learn and grow. You just need to keep trying. Try each day. Cast your net. If you get nothing, keep trying.

EXAMPLE YOU ASK? Why of course…

I have tried and tried to find a job in the legal field for a while. I prayed and applied. Pray and applied. I have lost count at how many job applications I sent. After send came the same news, “Thank you for applying but we decided to move on with another candidate.” Rejection after rejection. It was enough to crush me. But I kept applying no matter how bad I felt. My mom would even say “Keep casting.”

I say keep casting as reference from Peter, the fisherman in the Bible. Here is the passage: Just as day was breaking, Jesus stood on the shore; yet the disciples did not know that it was Jesus.  Jesus said to them, “Children, do you have any fish?” They answered him, “No.”  He said to them, “Cast the net on the right side of the boat, and you will find some.” So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, because of the quantity of fish. So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, 153 of them. And although there were so many, the net was not torn.-John 21:4-6,11

You see, I was not alone. Peter, as a fisherman, was struggling with opportunity but Jesus would not let him give up. The result was TEN-FOLD. I mean he got enough to have a fish fry in the village.

But back to my story, I casted one more application at the end of July. And God delivered TEN-FOLD. By August, I had a job. YES! A JOB! One that God designed for this season. I still have to pinch myself that God did this.

God is looking for trust and obedience. It does not mean that you will understand everything. I went in with a little faith but God says if you have the faith of a mustard seed, that a tree could be uprooted into the sea (Luke 17:5-6). Even in our small faith, God plants perseverance and endurance in us but we have to be willing to go our own selfish desire and pride. We have to cast our nets by faith.

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Don’t give up. Embrace the season. It is a lesson. You will get where you need to be in God’s timing. Keep at it. Keep casting.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Happy 3rd Anniversary for Blissfully Bianca!

Happy 3rd Anniversary for Blissfully Bianca!

Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

It’s been 3 years since I started this journey. Before Blissfully Bianca, for the longest time, various friends and peers have always told me how positive I am and how I should write about it. Though I was flattered by the compliments, I never really thought what I said was that important. I live quite a mundane life. I have always thought that there were enough critics in the world bringing negativity; I just wanted to be different.

But God knew what He was doing: He was giving me a platform and stage. He put this desire in me to encourage and share my testimony. My story went beyond my FB friends. My message has reached international audiences (WHOA!). Only God knew what would be.

God was saying my journey was not mundane but worthy of sharing. In three years, I have learned so much about myself. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your comments, likes, and following. Thank you for reading and inspiring me. There is more room to grow but join me for that.

My back to basics lesson is: Your journey is not for you.You are inspiring someone else. Your experiences are meant for someone else out there. People are watching how you are and look to you whether you believe it or not.

I stepped out in faith starting a blog about my journey and living as a blissfully, God-centered version of me. That’s not easy but God knew I had a spiritual gift of encouragement and this is a way to be a light on a hill.

So allow yourself and your journey to be used by God. It made the difference and here we are.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Believe That You’re Climbing

Believe That You’re Climbing

Poem on strength - Morgan Harper Nichols quote, strength quote, strong, for women, inner strength, emotional, inspirational, faith, God, motivation, moving on, growing up, confidence, self worth, dealing with, overcoming the past, mountain, truth, true, deep, though, saying, inspiring

This quote speaks more volumes in my life now than before. Even through the valleys, there is a lesson, a testimony, and guidebook for someone else down the road. Survival makes strength.

I know the feeling where each day is a struggle to wake up, get out of bed, and face the world. The tribulation can be so much to handle. You feel and can almost hear people’s opinions and criticisms of your situation. You almost feel ashamed about your situation.

But you have to face it head on no matter how embarrassed, sad, depressed, and down you feel. Pretty much, my situation. But I know I have survived a lot. I am just climbing. I am learning and growing. Climbing to my mountaintop.

If you are still climbing to your goals, you are building your strength, endurance, and perseverance if you do not give up.

Keep brushing yourself off. Keep your head up. Fight each day no matter how it is. Learn to climb. And then you will see how far you’ve come.

Photo by Abhiram Prakash on Pexels.com

Blissfully,

Bianca

Empowered to Say No

Empowered to Say No

For most of my life, I have been a BIG people pleaser. I just always wanted to make people happy at the expense of my energy and time. I would find myself drained and empty because I wanted people to love me. Bianca can do anything.

I thought for most of my life if I said yes to people, events, and opportunities, then I would be blessed ten-fold by others.

NOT!!!

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I realized in my late 20’s that there were “friends” and “people” who I would climb mountains for when they would not go a step for me. I performed for people who could care less about me. I would give 110% when they gave -100%.

I would feel so bad inside. I would be burnt out. I would feel terrible. I would outpour everything without any inflow.

Well. Not. Anymore.

I say no or no thank you. And it feels good. Sometimes I need to take a step back. Sometimes I need to think and clear my mind. Sometimes I need to worry about myself. I need to be selfish.

Yes, it hurts but self-care is good care.

I’m not saying to say NO to everything. I’m not saying you expect everyone to give you what you give them. I’m saying be empowered by the time and moments where you have peace, silence, and self-care for yourself. 

I had to realize that I matter. There will be opportunities to grasp, events to attend, and ways to serve others.

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I know what you are thinking…but Bianca, that was my only chance.

NOPE, I don’t accept it.

You can be selfish to keep your sanity. But Bianca, what should I do? I’m glad you asked.

You can:

have a day to yourself,

get a mani/pedi,

read a book,

turn off your phone, social media and email,

turn off the tv,

take a nap, 

go outside

Be empowered in caring for your A1 since day 1, YOU!

Blissfully,

Bianca

My Empowered Black Girl Magic Self

My Empowered Black Girl Magic Self

On the grand stage of media, current events, and social media, I feel the frustration, anger, discrimination, and marginalization of being an African American and being a woman.

Having police called on African Americans who are living their own lives .

Women of color gone missing and no one is making a big deal about it.

Victims of sexual assault being ostracized for speaking their truth. 

The lack of criminal justice for minorities.–particularily unarmed African Americans shot by police officers.

The gender pay gap between men and women

The list goes on and on.

If you think that I am just complaining with violins and making excuses, I’m not. I am speaking from my perspective and based on the shoes I walk in every day. If you think I am lying, then you are part of the problem and in denial. Rub your eyes, clean your glasses, and look into the world we live in.

Some days I am so powerless of because the world’s rhetoric and attitude. It does give me anxiety. It makes me feel worthless. The words people say, post, and act on is so unbecoming…especially “Christians.” It’s like I am a walking target wherever I go.  I am not safe in my skin as a woman and as an African American.

But God…

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God says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)  So even though I may feel worthless or powerless, God reminds me who I am and whose I am.  God made me uniquely as an African American woman “for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.-Isaiah 43:11

God called me to be Bianca. Though the world may say all it says, God calls me redeemed, wanted, and valued. That goes to every person on this Earth. You are redeemed in Christ. It does not matter if the world does not like you. God makes you worthy.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.-Ephesians 2:10

God did not create me to be nothing. God created me for His purpose. I am skilled with gifts and talents for good. Though man may disqualify me, God established me, Bianca, to work, to provide input to humanity, to serve others, and to have a voice. All the things God creates in me, He uniquely made you for the same reason and purpose. You are somebody. 

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.-1 Peter 2:9

God never said white people are God’s chosen people. God does not say anything about a race being superior to anyone. No race has dominion over an entire people…that’s God arena. When I accepted Christ into my heart, I became His. God said, “You are chosen. You are mine.” With that, there is an eternal victory I have. Jesus paid that price to cover my faults and failures. Thus, I have a place in heaven with Him.

So I empowered by my physical features and gender because God made me uniquely. I am the Princess of a King. I have a voice. God did not create me to be silent but to work and hustle for His glory. I am not perfect but I am redeemed by the Savior of the Universe.

No man can cut down who God promotes.

There is no door God opens that man can shut.

So I use my God-created self to be awesome. Yes, I still get weird looks for being an outspoken woman or for being black, or being too ethnic. But it’s whatever. If God likes it, then imma be Bianca. I am empowered black girl magic.

And that’s it.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Empowered Even Though I Am Not A First-Time Bar Passer

Empowered Even Though I Am Not A First-Time Bar Passer

15 minutes. 

15 minutes is how long my mom gave me to sob and let my emotions out. She held me as I let out the worst cry of my life. I received the news that I did not pass the Bar. All the hard work, sleepless nights, studying, and sacrificing my social life and I fell short. I felt like a failure and the prayers and well wishes were in vain. I just cried. I could not believe it.

But after those several minutes, my mom said, “Now we are not going to pity ourselves. No more crying. You tried your best and it’s just not God’s timing. You tried. You’re still my favorite lawyer. You will be one.” 

What a mom…I know she is really great.

(P.S. I took a nap, my mom made me fried plantains, sweet potatoes fries, and gave me lots of hugs. I took a week-long break from social media to clear my mind and refocus.)

So life has been interesting. What I thought was the plan is not the case. It will be another several months to prepare for the exam. It will be awhile before I get another set of results. I will be in-between states again. I will not be sworn in yet. I will not have the attorney job I have dreamed of.

Sounds like a powerless situation.

But I choose not to pity myself. 

Jeremiah 29:11 states: For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Even though the bad news hurts, it’s not to harm me. I had to remind myself if God did not want me to be an attorney, He would not have allowed me to live 6 hours away from home. He would not have allowed me to pass each semester of law school. He would not have allowed me to graduate law school. And many other obstacles I faced.

I do have a hope and a future. My season is temporary even though it feels like forever.

By Morgan Harper Nichols

I am not the only person who did not pass and I won’t be the last. This is a very hard exam. Florida is one of the hardest states to pass. My outcome from the Bar does not indicate my fitness or capacity as an attorney.

This does not stop me but empower me to fight.

Just because I did not pass does not mean I lost everything. I have wonderful parents who are still willing to help me and allow me to live with them. I have a wonderful support system and church family. I have my health. I have breath in my body. I still have a purpose.

So I will be empowered because God said I can do all things in Him, including passing the Bar and being the best attorney I can be. 

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I’m not saying that I am not upset, hurt, or feel inadequate. I am human. But I am saying  there is still hope for me.

I still have God’s power to make it.

And I will.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

When #blackgirlmagic gets backtracked

When #blackgirlmagic gets backtracked

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A picture is worth a thousand words. And this picture hits home all too well.

I did not watch the match but I saw the exchange of a professional female athlete and official in a video.

Then seeing this…another unfair and racist depiction of an African American female.

To be a passionate, confident black woman is hard.

We have been portrayed as ratchet, mean, hood, angry, out of line, or savage when we show the slightest bit of assertiveness in a situation of conflict.

No, I’m not going to be violent but I want to be heard.

Personally, I have had to hold my tongue too many times out of fear that I would come off as “the angry, black woman” that makes everyone uncomfortable. That’s just my experience.

Being upset or angry is a natural human emotion…but only for some.

You can only keep your cool for so long. You can only hold your emotions for so long.

Anger does not mean violence. Being assertive should not mean that you are a b@#^&. Being black and a woman does not mean I am not allowed to feel.

As an African American, we have had to endure in silence for too long.

So what if we are passionate. If a white person can be angry, passionate, and upset, why can’t black people? We have emotions too.

But the stigma has to stop.

This cartoon is offensive. Serena is a passionate, talented, assertive #blackgirlmagic who was assertive but not a baby with a tantrum. She still displayed sportsmanship to Osaka and kept it moving. But, the system needs to change. She was just bringing light to injustices in the sports world.

We, as African American women, want to be heard and we will tell it like it is. Like it or not, we are strong and resilient. We are tough but soft. We are smart and driven. We are about that hustle. So no need to call us angry or hood. We are about taking ownership of our lives and our stories. 

We are more than the angry black woman. We are so much more.

Blissfully,

Bianca