My Empowered Black Girl Magic Self

My Empowered Black Girl Magic Self

On the grand stage of media, current events, and social media, I feel the frustration, anger, discrimination, and marginalization of being an African American and being a woman.

Having police called on African Americans who are living their own lives .

Women of color gone missing and no one is making a big deal about it.

Victims of sexual assault being ostracized for speaking their truth. 

The lack of criminal justice for minorities.–particularily unarmed African Americans shot by police officers.

The gender pay gap between men and women

The list goes on and on.

If you think that I am just complaining with violins and making excuses, I’m not. I am speaking from my perspective and based on the shoes I walk in every day. If you think I am lying, then you are part of the problem and in denial. Rub your eyes, clean your glasses, and look into the world we live in.

Some days I am so powerless of because the world’s rhetoric and attitude. It does give me anxiety. It makes me feel worthless. The words people say, post, and act on is so unbecoming…especially “Christians.” It’s like I am a walking target wherever I go.  I am not safe in my skin as a woman and as an African American.

But God…

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God says “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” (Psalm 139:14)  So even though I may feel worthless or powerless, God reminds me who I am and whose I am.  God made me uniquely as an African American woman “for such a time as this.” (Esther 4:14)

But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.-Isaiah 43:11

God called me to be Bianca. Though the world may say all it says, God calls me redeemed, wanted, and valued. That goes to every person on this Earth. You are redeemed in Christ. It does not matter if the world does not like you. God makes you worthy.

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.-Ephesians 2:10

God did not create me to be nothing. God created me for His purpose. I am skilled with gifts and talents for good. Though man may disqualify me, God established me, Bianca, to work, to provide input to humanity, to serve others, and to have a voice. All the things God creates in me, He uniquely made you for the same reason and purpose. You are somebody. 

But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.-1 Peter 2:9

God never said white people are God’s chosen people. God does not say anything about a race being superior to anyone. No race has dominion over an entire people…that’s God arena. When I accepted Christ into my heart, I became His. God said, “You are chosen. You are mine.” With that, there is an eternal victory I have. Jesus paid that price to cover my faults and failures. Thus, I have a place in heaven with Him.

So I empowered by my physical features and gender because God made me uniquely. I am the Princess of a King. I have a voice. God did not create me to be silent but to work and hustle for His glory. I am not perfect but I am redeemed by the Savior of the Universe.

No man can cut down who God promotes.

There is no door God opens that man can shut.

So I use my God-created self to be awesome. Yes, I still get weird looks for being an outspoken woman or for being black, or being too ethnic. But it’s whatever. If God likes it, then imma be Bianca. I am empowered black girl magic.

And that’s it.

Blissfully,

Bianca

Allegiance to the Cross

Allegiance to the Cross

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The Cross is powerful. It breaks the chains of sin and gives power to all people who believe. It restores. It redeems. It wins every time. 

But lately, some people pledge their allegiance and entire being on other things: the flag, the national anthem, a political party, or a person who is not Jesus.

I am not saying not to be thankful for the blessings of life and living in America but America is not heaven. None of the temporary titles will serve an eternal purpose. Admission to heaven does not require a color, party, or denomination. 

I’m not saying that you can’t be passionate about the things of this world. There are things that I am passionate about too. But what I am saying is don’t let the troubles of this world cloud the eternal things.

There is no human, institution, or solution able to solve the troubles of the world. So don’t get so worked up about the current news that it drives you crazy. God is the one who will restore humanity at the appointed time.

So the bickering and “taking extreme measures” to show allegiance to a temporary political view, person, or issue is futile in the grand scheme of things.

This life is fleeting. All these things will pass away but the Lord’s Word and Will reigns.

So rethink your allegiance.

Blissfully,

Bianca

When #blackgirlmagic gets backtracked

When #blackgirlmagic gets backtracked

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A picture is worth a thousand words. And this picture hits home all too well.

I did not watch the match but I saw the exchange of a professional female athlete and official in a video.

Then seeing this…another unfair and racist depiction of an African American female.

To be a passionate, confident black woman is hard.

We have been portrayed as ratchet, mean, hood, angry, out of line, or savage when we show the slightest bit of assertiveness in a situation of conflict.

No, I’m not going to be violent but I want to be heard.

Personally, I have had to hold my tongue too many times out of fear that I would come off as “the angry, black woman” that makes everyone uncomfortable. That’s just my experience.

Being upset or angry is a natural human emotion…but only for some.

You can only keep your cool for so long. You can only hold your emotions for so long.

Anger does not mean violence. Being assertive should not mean that you are a b@#^&. Being black and a woman does not mean I am not allowed to feel.

As an African American, we have had to endure in silence for too long.

So what if we are passionate. If a white person can be angry, passionate, and upset, why can’t black people? We have emotions too.

But the stigma has to stop.

This cartoon is offensive. Serena is a passionate, talented, assertive #blackgirlmagic who was assertive but not a baby with a tantrum. She still displayed sportsmanship to Osaka and kept it moving. But, the system needs to change. She was just bringing light to injustices in the sports world.

We, as African American women, want to be heard and we will tell it like it is. Like it or not, we are strong and resilient. We are tough but soft. We are smart and driven. We are about that hustle. So no need to call us angry or hood. We are about taking ownership of our lives and our stories. 

We are more than the angry black woman. We are so much more.

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Word From Mama B!

A Word From Mama B!

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A Word from Mama B: Don’t Let Someone’s Insecurity Stop Your Greatness.

I realize how insecure people can be. They have this cloud and attitude to bring people to their lowly, miserable level. Know that there will be people who don’t wish success for you, who wait for your demise and failure like a season finale, who find a “dig” to make you feel less, who try to find ways to silence you, who call you by your name.

Don’t be bothered by their hatred. Sometimes people are jealous that they did not live up to your now successes. They hold a bitterness which holds them back. It should not affect you.

A higher level of you will come with a level of haters. But, stand firm in who you are and whose you are. You have purpose and a spot that God put you in for a reason. 

Don’t disappoint yourself due to a person’s insecurity and small opinion.

If God approves, no man can deny. 

Blissfully,

Bianca

As A Woman In the Local Church

As A Woman In the Local Church

I did not see in the Bible that women are second class citizens in the body of Christ.

So then, why it is such a power trip?

I have been in churches where women serve as sisters with their brothers in Christ. I have been in churches where the “rules” are archaic. It’s like a woman serving outside her duties (i.e. women’s ministry and children) is destroying the headship of man (ugh…give me a break).

I don’t think it is. Women are more than teaching children and women, having tea together, sitting pretty and silent while the “man” does God’s work. We have other skills. We may not be gifted in everything but we are gifted in some things.

Biblical Women of Service 

Not just the Proverbs 31 woman…There are women in the early church who were in involved. Here are some:

Phoebe: I commend to you our sister Phoebe, who is a deacon in the church in Cenchrea. Welcome her in the Lord as one who is worthy of honor among God’s people. Help her in whatever she needs, for she has been helpful to many, and especially to me.-Romans 16:1-2

Priscilla and Aquila: Give my greetings to Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in the ministry of Christ Jesus.  In fact, they once risked their lives for me. I am thankful to them, and so are all the Gentile churches.-Romans 16:3-4

Meanwhile, a Jew named Apollos, an eloquent speaker who knew the Scriptures well, had arrived in Ephesus from Alexandria in Egypt.  He had been taught the way of the Lord, and he taught others about Jesus with an enthusiastic spirit and with accuracy. However, he knew only about John’s baptism. When Priscilla and Aquila heard him preaching boldly in the synagogue, they took him aside and explained the way of God even more accurately.-Acts 18:24-26

Mary (not mother of Jesus): Give my greetings to Mary, who has worked so hard for your benefit. -Romans 16:7

Junia: Greet Andronicus (husband)  and Junia (wife), my fellow Jews, who were in prison with me. They are highly respected among the apostles and became followers of Christ before I did.-Romans 16:8

Active. Teaching People. Preaching. Prisoners. Hard Workers. Risk-takers for the Gospel.

No delicacy there. These women were sisters for the kingdom respected by their brothers serving alongside them.

Spiritual Gifts And Roles

I know what you are thinking: 1 Timothy 2:8-12

Therefore I want the men everywhere to pray, lifting up holy hands without anger or disputing.  I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.

I used to hate this verse because some Christian men would twist this verse to say women should not preach but be quiet and submit. A woman who does not follow through is not of God. I have to remember that God’s Words are not to hinder and belittle but are for a greater purpose. But look at the verse again through The Message version Bible:

Since prayer is at the bottom of all this, what I want mostly is for men to pray—not shaking angry fists at enemies but raising holy hands to God. And I want women to get in there with the men in humility before God, not primping before a mirror or chasing the latest fashions but doing something beautiful for God and becoming beautiful doing it. I don’t let women take over and tell the men what to do. They should study to be quiet and obedient along with everyone else.

Work and pray with humility. Doing something beautiful for God and being beautiful doing it. Not to overstep for power but be obedient to God’s word. God may call us to have a quiet spirit, to be wise, and to discern. But God may call us to something greater. It all depends on Him. We don’t always need to talk but don’t always need to be silent if God gives us a Word to share.

There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord.  There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. To one there is given through the Spirit a message of wisdom, to another a message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues, and to still another the interpretation of tongues.  All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he distributes them to each one, just as he determines.-2 Corinthians 12:4-11

Different strokes for different folks. God made each of us with distinct gifts. Not every man is not meant to be a preacher. Not every woman is meant to do women’s ministry and teach children.  I am not discounting women who are called to women’s ministry and children’s ministry. You all do great work for the Kingdom but not every woman is gifted in that. Respect our talents no matter what our gifts are. There is no male role or female role. God gives each gift from the same source and for the same reason. There are some people in the Church who are not called to certain gifts. Nothing is man-designed but God-ordained.

Christian Men…Not All but Some 

A vivid memory I had was in a Sunday school class where the male teacher said “Feminism is a sin. A sin of the world to disrespect men and their authority”

Ummm…excuse me. I bravely took him on. And yup..I got weird looks from our group. 

I was raised to respect and be respected. My dad is one of the rare ones. He wanted his  daughters to be strong women of God who were smart, well-spoken, educated, and respectful to authority. I never heard my dad say “Women can’t do that. You are better silent. That’s what men do.” My dad was comfortable as a Man of God to value his skills and  the skills of his wife  to serve in her God-given capacities. The same goes for his son and daughters.

My dad encourages me with these words: “You are a human being and a helper but you are not to be abused and mistreated.”

On the opposite end, I have encountered “Christian men” who are sexists, who believe women should be silent and do as they are told, who feel disrespected when a woman stands up to them, and who twist the Bible to demean and degrade women. There were moments in my life where I did not want to marry Christian men. I did not want to be disrespected a marriage. I even wanted to give up on Church because I did not fit into the archaic sexism.

But I reminded of Galatians 2:28: There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. There is no superior gender but a Superior Savior we all follow. My brother in Christ should respect me as his sister in Christ. Working to be lights in the world and winning others for Christ. There is an equality in the body of Christ even though we are different.

So that is what I do. I respect my brother but I deserve respect too.

For Example

My mom, not a women’s ministry-nursery lady, but God has given her the gift of medical knowledge and care to many. Not to be biased (but I am), my mom is a dynamite woman. She is strong, kind, and warm. She is well-spoken and bold. She is also wise and meek.  She is a light to all she meets. She is respectful. No sticking it to man but she demands respect.

To Close

I can’t fix every Christian man to respect me the way God sees me. There will be men who are archaic, insecure dinosaurs who treat women as second class citizens. And there is some who are my brothers who I work alongside for the Kingdom. It can’t be helped (all are sinners).

But here is some encouragement for both parties:

To my Christian sisters, know who you are and whose you are. You are fearfully and wonderfully made for a purpose. You are not second but first. God has gifted you with talents and abilities for His glory. We don’t all need to be the same. God will call us to be meek or speak but we are not lesser than.

To my Christian brothers, respect us. We are all striving for the same goal: To bring glory and honor to God. Sharpen us, encourage us, challenge us but don’t look down on us. We are His workmanship too.

So that’s all I got.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

 

Love Yourself

Love Yourself

The respect you want is the respect you allow.

My mom instilled in me that it is imperative that you love yourself first. No one can love you more than God and you. Know that you deserve love and respect BUT you decide how you receive it. When you know your value, you determine your outcome. You can be encrusted with good, solid people or bad people…it’s up to you.

If you allow disrespect, then you are the recipient of disrespect. If you allow respect, then you are the recipient of respect.

Stop disrespect at the start.

Establish boundaries.

Remove yourself from the situation.

Silence can speak louder than words.

In my life, by stopping disrespect to establish “Don’t cross me,” people back off or know I can’t mess with Bianca. You don’t need to waste your breath and energy on disrespect so silence and leaving the toxic situation is best.

So remember you are worth it.

Encrusted

Blissfully,

Bianca

Unapologetic Courage

Unapologetic Courage

 

 

cf872bb0d611a9c9f158b5c07f77566cIt takes courage to be unapologetic.

You’re not the norm.

You’re not in your place.

You decide that you are better than your circumstances.

You decide that you are not inferior, subordinate, impotent, and unimportant.

Some believe in division and evil dominance.

Nevertheless, you persist.

You are nasty.

You are revolutionary.

You speak, act, and walk, in your truth.

You are not the norm.

You are the resistance.

Courage

Blissfully,

Bianca