Another’s Values To See

Another’s Values To See

Becoming by Michelle Obama is a profound, empowering story of a woman finding value in various stages of life. She just happens to be a former First Lady.

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“It’s not about being perfect. It’s not about where you get yourself in the end. There’s power in allowing yourself to be known and heard, in owning your unique story, in using your authentic voice. And there’s grace in being willing to know and hear others. This, for me, is how we become.”

An Excerpt from Becoming

As a girl from the South Side of Chicago, Michelle describes the metamorphosis of “becoming” from childhood, adolescence, collegiate, young professional, wife, mother, and public figure. This is not about politics. This is about a woman finding her voice and purpose in the world.

I won’t give too much detail because you need to read it. There are more intimate details of her life from the events that we all saw at surface level.

As a young professional myself, I see me in the pages of book: the value of rising above race, the value of an education, the value of family, the value of love, and the being more and doing more.

To be a woman of color in 2019 is still a never-ending rollercoaster of dehumanization, marginalization, joy, achievement, and pure magic.

As an 18 year old college freshman, seeing a First Lady with beautiful melanin countenance is something to behold and something that I will never forget. She was a lady of grace, poise, style, intelligence, fun, and pure magic. She had her man (who happened to be former leader of the free world..spoiler!), her children whom she valued going into the presidency, and her devotion to serving her country as First Lady in her own way. She is second to my mother in #blackgirlmagic and inspiration.

You will laugh, cry, ohh and aww, you will be shocked, give an occasional mhmm. But I highly recommend her book.

It’s a Blissful Favorite from Yours Truly.

Blissfully,

Bianca

The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler

The Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler

She selects wool and flax
    and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
    bringing her food from afar.
 She gets up while it is still night;
    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
 She sets about her work vigorously;
    her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
    and her lamp does not go out at night.
 In her hand she holds the distaff
    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.-vs. 13-19

Let’s just take a moment to notice Ms. Proverbs 31 was about that hustle and about that coin. 

I always admire women who take charge. The verbs in this passages: She selects, she brings, she gets up, She consider (or to me surveys), She sets, She sees, She holds, She grasps.

There have been times in my life where dinosaurs (i.e. patriarchal, jerky men) have said: a woman’s place is at home. The men do business. Or women should who have careers are bad mothers because they are neglecting their responsibilities. Well excuse me for not caring…the Proverbs 31 woman worked inside and outside the home. She is taking care of her children but she is also getting that coin. She wakes up early to handle her affairs with her family and servants before she heads out.

I have always asked women professionals, “Can women have it all: The husband, the children, the career?” Most of them have said yes and no: There must be a balance, there will be sacrifices, there will be ups and downs but you have to prioritize what is important. Fair enough answer.

A Proverbs 31 woman in my life went to nursing school with three children under the age of 10 (two children with disabilities), a part-time job as a pharmacy technician, a mortgage and a husband. Did people doubt and scold her because she wanted to a nurse? Yes. Did she have people tell her that she was crazy, that she had two sick children, that what kind of mother leaves her children behind to go to school, that english is her second language? Of course. But you know what? That God that was in her was greater than the critics around her. And she became a registered nurse by God’s power. That woman is my mother.  She would make sure food was on the table. She made it to almost every chorus concert I was in. She would pay for school lunch and my school supplies. BUT she also was studying long hours. She would wake early to head to school and clinicals. She hustled and did it.

And you know what? My mom’s career has helped our family and extended family in their medical care. So she did not go wrong going to school. It actually made the difference in our family.

A woman can hustle anywhere and can do anything to make it. Some women make their full-time job to raise the children  and look after the household (which should be a high-ranking job in itself). Some women work inside and outside the home. Some women work outside the home and the husband takes care of the household. One woman is not better than the other.  Don’t diminish one category. Let it be celebrated. Each woman living up to her God-given role.

A Modern Proverbs 31 Woman Hustler works hard wherever she is: no matter if it’s for herself, for her family, or for her boss.

Blissfully,

Bianca

 

The Modern, Fashionable Proverbs 31 Woman

The Modern, Fashionable Proverbs 31 Woman

In this day in age, beauty is everywhere. Beauty blogs, beauty tutorials, beauty ads. What’s in what’s out. Beauty transformations. The smoky eye. How to blend your foundation using an egg. So many brands, so little money. Gotta look on fleek, flawless, sexy. Gotta not look like a zombie. Whether it’s for a lover or that family member who says “You would look so much better if you just put some makeup on.” So you thrive to look your best.

Clothes…let’s not get started. You gotta look put together. Sweatpants could be considered as lazy. Gotta look professional. What size am I? Does this store carry my size? Why do I need to show more skin/less skin? Why does that person look better in that than me? If I were only smaller, fuller, had bigger (fill in body part).

Let’s be real, ladies. It take so much to feel pretty and worthy according to the beauty standards. It’s a lot of pressure. Even as a upcoming attorney, I have to dress the part and look close to an “Olivia Pope” attorney. It’s just hard. Now I am not saying that all women should NOT be a hot mess. I’m just saying..it’s hard in these streets.

Thankfully, Jesus does not determine if a woman is worthy based on her looks.

Proverbs 31 states:

She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. vs. 25-26

“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.-vs. 29-30

Being clothed in good character never goes out of style. God believes in beauty from the inside out. Strength and dignity is confidence you wear no matter how you look, what color you are, what size you are. Wisdom is something to gain and attain as a fashionable accessory. A good word never goes out of style. An uncompromising woman of the Lord is worthy in her own right. A woman who humbles herself before God will be “youthful” and beautiful from the inside out.

If you have a beauty routine, don’t feel bad. If you don’t have a beauty routine, don’t feel bad. This is not a bashing of one ideal. Just know you have choices in life. God’s beauty standards are different than man’s beauty standard. God created woman in His image as well.

A modern, fashionable, Proverbs 31 is beautiful based on her God-given character that radiates from the inside out.

Uncompromising

Blissfully,

Bianca

Diary of a Brassy, Black Woman

Diary of a Brassy, Black Woman

In our society and even within the black community, black women get a bad reputation. I have been told by black men that they would not want to date a black woman. I have seen comedians, celebrities, and social media folks have their “theory of black women.” Some of society’s opinions of black women include, but are not limited to, too loud, too demanding, too much attitude, too much drama, “just too much,” etc.

Real Talk: BLACK WOMEN ARE NOT BUILT THE SAME.

I know beautiful, smart black women who are not like that at all. I believe we, black women, are brassy: shamelessly bold. We love hard, we work hard, and we hustle hard.

Real Talk: For your information, I do not need to men to validate who I am. So your opinion is not needed.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made by my Creator. I am not perfect but I am not disposable. I am growing into a smart, brassy, African American Princess of the King of Kings.  He made no mistake on me. He calls me Beloved. He does not delegitimize my worth based on my color and societal stereotypes. I am shamelessly bold and Blissfully Bianca.

Real Talk: To the critics, deal with the black girl magic or get to steppin cause Mama B don’t need you.

Brassy

Blissfully,

Bianca

A Queen Is A Champion of Her Empire

A Queen Is A Champion of Her Empire

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I love what this quote represents.  My mom always reminds me to rely on God and myself.  She always encourages me to keep chasing and fighting for my dreams. A man is not the sum total of my life. A man’s presence is an addition to my empire.

A champion does not wait for someone to carry them. A champion works hard, stays humble, and keeps fighting. A Queen does not need a king to make her empire great. She is a champion in her own right. A Queen only needs her HEAVENLY KING and herself.

Colossians 3:23-24  “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters,  since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

Champion

Blissfully,

Bianca