While single, “let your resume be just as good as the person you tries to make moves on you.”
This is not a competition or a way to look down upon people.” It’s just that as a single person you need to make your own moves in the world. A relationship is an addition to your life, not the sum total.
For instance, I was out of town with my mom and sister. I was sitting in the hotel lobby studying. A guy who walked in started flirting with me. He told me “I’m a “soon to be pro-athlete.” I guess he thought I should be impressed and more eager to talk to him. And some ladies would probably gravitate towards him but not this girl. I happily responded with “That’s nice. I graduated law school and am studying for the Bar.” He seemed puzzled yet impressed. Like “Oh this girl got it going on”. And yes, yes I am.
You see. A football pro did not deter me. I have my own life with my own dreams. My resume was just as good if not better. When you are confident in your greatness, no one phases you. Whether he’s a doctor, teacher, engineer, musician, etc., you’re still good in your own skin.
P.S. He lied. He was a loiter trying to look like he belonged. What a fool I would have been to fall for it.
Two Words: Ashley Graham.
I grew up watching America’s Next Top Model and Project Runway. I adore the fashion world. My dream is to walk and buy things from Rodeo Drive (LA) and Fashion Ave, (NYC), to attend Fashion Week, and meet Tim Gunn (Project Runway) in NYC or anywhere.
Society likes to tell women how to look and how to be like. It’s like you have be size of a lollipop stick to be beautiful. I believe every person on Earth is fearfully and wonderfully made. God made us different for a reason. Your body is a beautiful temple because God said so.
Ashley Graham is a beautiful model…period. She is confident and chooses to embrace the skin she is in. I encourage you with her story and her words of encouragement.
The wind blows a breeze.
The chimes begin to ring, slowly and lightly.
Though the sound seems faint, it still rings.
The wind blows a stronger wind.
The chimes ring faster and louder.
The jangle of the chimes creates unapologetic ripples.
The chimes are not afraid.
She is not who she used to be.
Her voice resonates the room, the home, and the world.
Her jangle is not noise but a voice.
You know what? I realize that Bianca now is very different from Bianca a few years ago.
I don’t know about you but I love people. I love to be liked by people. For a time in my life, I would limit or downplay who I was to please people. I would seek approval from people. There were different me depending on who I was around. But that was then, this is now…
There is freedom being who God designed you to be. God designed me to be me. Once I realized that, then my boldness started even more. God has given me the opportunity to attend law school and experience different . My perspective is unique and not everyone will agree with what I believe. Sometimes I have to stand alone but that’s ok. I was not made for man’s approval, I was made for God’s glory.
Now, I find myself speaking my mind and posting about my perspective. Yes, people may disagree with me but I still present what I believe and find some common ground.
Being me also means eliminating negativity. Before, I would tolerate people’s behavior and take people’s negativity . I would find myself in a dark place because I allowed people to affect me.
Being me means I cannot keep giving so much of myself to people who do not care about me. I have experienced fruitless friendships because it was always a one way street. I don’t seek friends to gain something from them but there should be give and take. I have had to learn to let people go.
I wish for you all is that you live to God’s glory, not man’s approval. Being bold means letting the excess go and standing firm. I’m learning as I go and I want you to learn with me.
You know that feeling where you are on the brink of something great but you get so nervous at the thought of the change. If you are anything like me, it is hard to change scenery. I have been in school for 8 years and I have become acclimated to my bubble. Next year, I will no longer be a student. I will be in a different scenery of life.
Is it weird to be nervous about what could be? Because I feel that way.
But me being nervous stunts my growth. Women have been told no too many times. The powerful women I look up to had moments of nervousness. Going against the norm was not easy but they stood tall and proud.
Believe it or not, whether directly or indirectly, I have been rejected, made fun of, and belittled for having dreams. Sometimes I get nervous about how great I can be. But I also believe that I can do great things. Being nervous is a natural emotion but know that you cannot stay in your nervous bubble. Dare to live on the wild side. History was not made by following the norm. It was made by stepping out and fighting the nervous societal pressures.
So I encourage all ladies to not let the nervous societal pressures stop you from achieving greatness. Keep up the good fight. Don’t take no for an answer. Keep being you. Keep being amazing human beings.
So in honor of Women’s History Month, I wanted to encourage women from all walks of life and various backgrounds. And also, men can be included too.
All of us have had someone say “No,” “You can’t do it,” “You are too delicate for something like that,” “You’re too nice to be a lawyer.” I know these comments because I have heard those phrases and more from family and my peers. To persist means to continue firmly or obstinately in an opinion or a course of action in spite of difficulty, opposition, or failure. I know many women who have suffered and sacrificed so much to be where they are. I have endured direct and indirect hurtful comments and setbacks in my life. There will always be people, circumstances, and things that could cause you to give up. But you know what? Greater that is in me, than He who is in the world. Be brave. Be bold. Persist. Whatever fire you have to go through, persist, push through, and God will take care of the rest.
Be the woman who nevertheless persists.
There would be times in my life where I wish my skin were lighter. There were time where I wish my hair would not be so “coarse” and “nappy.” There were times where I wish I was not the “only black kid” in my class. There were times where I wished people would not stare. There were times where I thought that being white would be better than being black.
But that was then, this is now. I’m Black and I Am Ok with That.
There are times where I love the colorful clothes that illuminates my melanin. There are times where I love how many ways I can wear my hair. There are times where I feel privileged to have experienced higher learning. There are times where I walk proudly because I am Bianca.
I’m Black and I Am Ok with That.
My skin was created out of dust. I was made in the image of my Creator. His path for me was laid out before the foundation of the world. My heritage is full of pain, struggle, love, redemption, advocacy, and longevity. People died and sacrificed themselves so I could be where I am today.
I’m Black and I am Ok with That.
I do not boast that I am better. A month does not define my excellence, I do that 365 days a year. A month does recognize my heritage as the fabric of America. The world may not agree with me but I believe I am valuable. I believe my culture and heritage should be heard. To know my history as a part of God’s story.
I’m Black and I am Ok with That.